How can I forgive?

Betrayal and rejection are some of the hardest things to forgive. If you have lived on this planet for very long, you have suffered the pain of someone you loved breaking your heart. As followers of Jesus, we know we are supposed to forgive, but how? The pain is too deep. The heartache is too great.

Most of us can muster lip service saying, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us,” (Matthew 6:12) but we know the truth in our hearts…and so does God. We are resentful, and we have a record playing on repeat in our heads reminding us of the wrong that was done to us. It is relentless. We object, “God, it’s not fair! They don’t deserve forgiveness. Look what they did!” The last thing we want to do is “leave room for God’s wrath,” but we like the idea of actually heaping “burning coals on their head” (Romans 12:19-21).

My hope and prayer for you as you journey with me through this reading plan is that you will finally be set free from the bondage that unforgiveness brings into your life. I know it might seem impossible right now, but have hope. God wants you to be set free and healed from the pain.

I liken unforgiveness to an injury in our body. The wound eventually develops a scab. If we bump the injured area it hurts and may even start bleeding again. Unforgiveness is like that. As long as we hold onto the injustice and pain someone caused us, we will hurt and sometimes bleed. We will have days when we are so broken we can barely make it through.

However, when the wound in our flesh heals we are left with a scar. Scars don’t hurt. They remind us of the time we were injured, but there is no pain associated with it. As a friend of mine says, “Scars are marks of God’s healing grace.”

When a believer can let go of the injustice and authentically forgive the one who hurt them, healing happens. Forgiveness allows us to move from a scab to a scar. We can remember what happened to us, but there is no pain associated with it. It no longer bleeds. We are whole again, and the record stops looping in our head. We have our joy back!

Stay with me as we see how others have forgiven so we can follow their example.

“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.” -Marianne Williamson