Healing Along the Masculine JourneySample

Day 2: Explorer (Pre-teens - Early 20s)

Devotional:

The Explorer Stage is a time of adventure and testing, of learning through trial and error how things work. During this stage, the questions asked by the young heart evolve from “Do you see me? Do you love what you see?” to “Do I have strength? Can I come through—do I have what it takes?”

This is a season of safety goggles and helmets, tools, and equipment, a time of finding out how fast a thing can go, how high it can fly, how far it can travel. Far more is involved than physical strength alone, for strength comes in many ways: through risking, trying and testing, stepping out with courage into anything—sports, certainly, but also music, art, debate, creative writing, or a part in a play.

Now is when a boy’s world expands from the safety of his bedroom, front yard, and backyard and becomes both more beautiful and more dangerous. The Explorer Stage tests a boy’s strength so he can discover it and learn what it is for. When challenges come—and they will; this stage is the beginning of hard tests and important trials—the boy will succeed when he is surrounded with affirmation and encouragement, not criticism and sarcasm.

A father or a trusted father figure is key to framing the losses in this stage in a positive light and encouraging the boy to get up and try again. If a boy only hears through silence or words of rejection that he “doesn’t have what it takes,” the result is deep wounds of insecurity and uncertainty. Every failure is in fact an opportunity to grow; a boy can learn from it if he’s shown how. But he needs a father, a mentor, or a coach to help him redeem the disappointment and gain from the loss. And a mother to support him and encourage him to try again.

More is evolving for explorers than just the boy’s body. His spiritual life also needs attention. The rote childhood prayers of Sunday school provided a foundation, but now he needs something deeper. It’s time to introduce him to prayer as a heart-to-heart conversation with God. If up to this point, evil forces have somehow been held at bay, this is the stage of their great invasion, and a boy needs to start learning what he is up against and begin to learn how to guard his heart.

There’s a twofold training in this for you if you are a father: you need to see how you yourself were wounded at this stage and go to God for healing, and you’ve also got to learn what it will take to support and encourage your kid.

To recover your own explorer heart, this is where the warrior in you begins to bravely step up. As a man looking back, you can recover, with Jesus' help, that which was lost in your past as you began to explore this dangerous world. Healing your explorer heart allows you to go forward courageously with the Spirit, overcoming fear and insecurity, to learn how to reign and rule well because—wounded hearts wound hearts, but free hearts can free hearts.

As you ponder all this with God today, consider asking Him:

Father, what tests and trials of initiation did I face during my Explorer Stage?

Jesus, who stood beside me and helped me interpret those tests and trials, looking to validate me, warn me, coach me, and love me through the adventures and battles—the ones that went well and those that did not go so well?

Spirit, how did or didn’t I learn that I “have what it takes”? How was I taught or not taught that I had a strength and was or wasn’t helped to understand what it was for?