Parenting a Prodigal During the Holidays Sample

Day 5: Adjusting Your Perspective

Recently, I had some dental work done that caused a severe toothache that consumed my attention for days. During that time, my focus on the pain was so intense that it was very difficult to focus on anything else. This focus intensified my misery. However, when I consciously made an effort to shift my attention to something different, the pain, while still present, became less overpowering. Similarly, in your situation with your prodigal, the pain is real, but it does not need to eclipse the joy and gratitude that can be found in other areas of your life this holiday season or in any season of life.

The Bible continually calls us to a posture of gratitude. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 instructs, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.” This isn't to say that your pain is insignificant, but rather an invitation to balance your pain with an awareness of the good that still exists in your life.

This holiday season, I want to encourage you to take a look around you. Whether it’s the love of a spouse, the presence of other children, the support of friends and family, or the opportunities you’ve had this year, there is much to be thankful for. Consider the smaller blessings too – a roof over your head, clean water, or food in your pantry. These are not trivial; they are significant blessings that many do not have.

I encourage you to find ways to actively practice gratitude. Extend your thankfulness into action. If your prodigal is not around to receive your gifts, consider donating to those in need. Providing meals to a family, inviting a college student who can’t go home for the holidays, or donating toys to a women’s shelter are all ways to spread the joy and spirit of the season. The Bible encourages us to give (Proverbs 21:26, Deuteronomy 15:10, 2 Corinthians 9:11). Engaging in such acts of kindness not only benefits others and follows God’s Instructions to us, but also enriches your own spirit.

It's important to remember that it's still possible to find a balance between grief and gratitude, between acknowledging your pain and embracing the joy that comes from the Birth of our Savior. This season, I encourage you not to shy away from creating new traditions that reflect where you are in your journey right now.

For those of you adjusting to the dynamic of being a parent of a prodigal, remember that it's perfectly okay to seek comfort in the company of trusted friends, family, or church members. The holidays don't have to look the same every year, especially as life brings changes. Embrace the freedom to modify your celebrations, whether that means hosting a dinner, joining another family's gathering, or participating in community events.

To single parents feeling the weight of this season, I urge you not to spend the holidays alone. The sense of community is a fundamental aspect of our faith, and many churches offer opportunities to connect with others during Thanksgiving and Christmas. These gatherings can offer not only companionship but also a sense of belonging and shared understanding.

This holiday season, let us remember Hebrews 10:24-25, which encourages us to “consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.” In the spirit of these words, reach out to your community, or even take the initiative to create a space where others who may be experiencing similar challenges can come together in fellowship and support.

As you navigate the holidays, remember that you are not alone. As the author of the Prodigal Parent Process, I have worked with many parents of prodigals who need support. You can access my book, Prodigal Parent Counseling, or my free support group for Parents of Prodigals here: www.prodigalparentprocess.com