The Cost of EnvySample

Envy

Even our initial consideration of envy is enough to enable us to see how inappropriate jealousy and the discontented cravings of coveting can overlap with envy. They are distinct but often interlaced. But worse than either, envy takes things a sinful step further. Whether I am hurt over not having what I feel entitled to or I fixate on what I’m convinced would make me happy, these unpleasant thoughts and feelings escalate after simmering in my heart until my sense of deprivation leads me to resent the people who have what I want. And not just any people - usually, it’s the person right in front of me.

As Tilly Dillehay succinctly states, “Envy thrives among peers.” I don’t resent the guy on YouTube driving the truck I just have to have or living in the man cave I’ve always wanted. It’s the coworker, the guy in my small group, my brother-in-law, or the neighbor I wave at every morning on my way to work. When they have what I crave, and they get to experience what I’ve dreamed of, then I start looking at them with disdain.

Envy shifts the focus to the person. It drives me to ruminate on how that person is less deserving, less worthy, or just less as a person. It leads me to desire that they not only do without the privileges and possessions I want, but if that hurts them—that is fine, too. Think of how undetected and unchecked envy compounds the problem in me. The problem is not them. Actually, in some other universe, I might even be happy that my brother, or my brother in Christ, had the things that I know all too well - gifts, blessings, and honors. But sadly, I am secretly cursing the people I am called to rejoice with when they are blessed. And even more appalling, I would take pleasure in their pain.

God has stern words for the fruit of envy. Consider this barrage of conviction from our Maker:

Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner. (Prov. 14:21a)

But do not gloat over the day of your brother in the day of his misfortune . . . do not boast in the day of distress . . . do not gloat over his disaster in the day of his calamity. (Obad. 12–13a)

Let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the Lord see it and be displeased. (Prov. 24:17b–18a)

He who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished. (Prov. 17:5b)

God wants something different for us. Something better. As challenging as it may be in our fallen world, God’s Spirit wants to enable you and me to truly love our neighbor, to sincerely rejoice in the advantages of others, and to find contented satisfaction in our less-than-perfect lives. That’s what this book is all about. But we can’t get there if we don’t see the seriousness of the problem and admit that we have it—to one degree or another.