Becoming an Intentional Fatherნიმუში

Roadblock #4: GuiltMaybe so far, you’ve not seen a roadblock you can identify with. Ignorance, inertia, and delegation aren’t your issues. But this one hits you square between the eyes. Your obstacle is guilt.

It sounds like this, “I’ve done so much bad stuff in my past, who am I to talk?” This massive weight blocks your path and seems completely immovable. After all, it’s from the past! How can you remove things from your past?

No surprise here: You can’t. But if you’re a believer in Christ, He’s already done this part for you. If you’re saddled with guilt from your past, then you’re carrying around something God wants you to drop.

If your past stands in your way, it’s become your enemy. You must learn how to make it your ally. There are two ways you can do this.

First – acknowledge your past sins, and use that as a cause for rejoicing. You have been forgiven so much. Now, you can focus on the road ahead. You can serve your family as a fully engaged father, unencumbered by the errors in the rearview mirror.

This can be a great lesson for your children. You must be sensitive to their age and maturity, but you can share with them how much it means for God to have forgiven you of your past. Your past mistakes can bring glory to God. Plus, it removes the pressure of parenthood perfection. “Son, don’t try to ‘be like me’ when you grow up. Be like God instead.”

Second – you can share the pain of your past sins, and use that as a cautionary tale. Again, with proper discretion, you can talk about how some of your past sins snared you. You can share about the pain they caused, the doors they closed, and the consequences they brought.

Were you fired for fudging an expense report? Did you nearly flunk out of college? Were you asked to step down from leadership due to an inappropriate relationship? Whatever your past mistake, I bet you paid a price for it. At the right time, use these stories to help your kids keep their guard up.

If your past keeps you from being an engaged father, take a hard look at whether you’ve completely trusted Christ for your salvation. The guilt of our past mistakes has no place in the heart of the believer.