Real Hope: PeaceSample

Live Peaceably

Peace is something we all desire, yet too often we’re not sure how to be at peace with ourselves, God, or others. This verse hints that making peace takes work and also that full reconciliation may not be possible. This is true where a relationship is abusive, and it is unsafe or unwise to try to reconcile. However, where hurt has occurred and both people involved are wanting to focus on restoring the relationship, peacemaking can be a wonderful opportunity to strengthen mutual understanding and bring depth to the friendship.

When seeking peace with friends, it helps to first consider our own contribution in the conflict. Most disagreements happen because we haven’t listened well to the other person’s concerns. Pride often gets in the way, and we are drawn to the very human responses of trying to pretend it’s all OK, when it clearly isn’t, or we fight back in words and actions. Neither helps with the work of peace.

What I’ve found helpful is to PAUSE – a principle I learned during a PeaceWise course:

• Pray for God’s help.

• Affirm the relationship, letting the other person know why you appreciate them, and be specific.

• Understand, by taking time to listen deeply to the other person’s concerns and experience.

• Seek to come up with a solution together.

• Evaluate how it’s going after you’ve both tried to relate in the new way you both have chosen.

This acronym is not meant to minimize the work of peacemaking, but it’s helped me take time to try to fully understand the other person’s perspective. I hope it helps you too.

Written by KATH HENRY