I Stayed: Healing Past Hurt, Betrayal & InfidelitySample

Who Are You?

Hurt. Betrayed. Deceived. Alone. Misunderstood. Broken. Afraid. Angry. Lost. Sad. Ashamed. Embarrassed. Disappointed. Unsafe. These are some of the many things I felt the day my husband listened to God and told me the truth about what he had done in the past. If you are in my shoes and decide to stay married after infidelity, I want you to know (1) you are not alone, (2) you are not crazy, (3) you still have value, and (4) choosing to stay does not change your position.

Do you know your position and who you are?

I will never forget the time I received an anonymous email from a woman attempting to let me know what my husband had done. She said, “I hope you are completely blind and don't know what is going on because this may serve as some form of enlightenment and hopefully, indicates that you value yourself as a woman.” She insinuated that if I knew what was going on and chose to stay that I did not value myself.

The world will tell you that you’re delusional, that you’re weak, and that you don't value yourself as a woman if you stay. Your mind and the enemy will try to convince you that because your husband did the things he did, there’s something wrong with you. Yes, we all have room for growth, but his choices were his. The enemy will try to make you feel that if you were only prettier or if you looked different physically, then this wouldn’t have happened. None of these things are true because the only truth is what God says about you.

God says that you are His handiwork, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you have more value than many sparrows. This remains true regardless of any choice your husband has made and regardless of your choice to stay. So yes, you may feel broken right now and you may not feel very confident in who you are but hold on and stand firm in who God says you are.

It is important that as you go through this process of healing, you get your unhelpful thoughts and feelings out of your head, and that you make a habit of speaking life to your situation. Good ways to do this include speaking with a faith-based licensed professional counselor and journaling daily.

Read and meditate on today’s scriptures and spend time journaling your thoughts and feelings. What is your desired outcome of this devotional? Conclude your thoughts with a life statement where you speak life to your situation. For example, "Today I’m feeling broken, but I will not always feel this way."

Keep fighting. You will grow, you will overcome, and you will heal past hurt, betrayal, and infidelity.