Love After Marriage- a Journey Into Deeper Spiritual, Emotional & Sexual OnenessSample

Day 3: Being in the Light

Freedom. There is nothing so freeing as two people living together in God’s truth and love with nothing to hide. When we hide important information from our spouse, we open the door for the enemy to amplify shame, guilt, confusion, and separation in areas where the Lord is ready to bring forgiveness, healing, and restoration. We just have to bring everything to the light.1 John 1:7 tells us, “But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.”

After 28 years of practice as a marriage and family counselor, I (Barry) have concluded that the single most effective way to overcome shame is to bring shameful thoughts and feelings out into the open in a loving and truthful community. It’s natural to hide things that feel shameful to us, but hiding them will only increase the feelings of guilt and shame. When we share things we are ashamed of and experience someone who responds with God’s truth, love, and acceptance, we begin to see ourselves through His eyes and His love. This breaks the power of fear and shame. 1 John 4:18, says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”

Ponder & Pray: Do you feel any shame in your life that is prohibiting you from sharing openly in your marriage? Pray and ask the Lord to show you if He wants you to share this with your spouse. Is he/she ready to respond with God’s truth and love for you? If not, maybe you will need to begin by sharing with someone else with the goal of sharing with your spouse as soon as possible.

Activity: Share something that the Lord showed you today.