When Love Uses GaslightingSample

Twisted Realities

If your partner tries to maintain control over you and twist your reality, I know it doesn’t feel good, but you’re not alone. The Pharisees had it out for Jesus. They were accustomed to the influence they had with the people and they went to great lengths to preserve their power, even if it meant attacking the character of Jesus in order to maintain their position of prominence.

The Pharisees were intimidated by Jesus’ impact and sought ways to override his authority. When Jesus healed a demon-possessed man who was also blind and mute, the Pharisees accused him of driving out demons by the spirit of Beelzebub. This wasn’t the first time that the Pharisees tried to disgrace Jesus. They were threatened that they were losing power. So they developed schemes to discredit him by distorting the truth in public settings.

Twisting reality is an age-old manipulative strategy to create confusion and doubt. Sometimes people who are manipulative do this in private with you to create insecurity so they can control you. Other times, they strategize and use false news to sway public opinion. When others use slander and injurious speech to defame you, the Bible calls it blasphemy. Today’s popular terminology is gaslighting.

When others try to gaslight and disgrace you, twist reality or cause doubt and confusion, you can do what Jesus did. Matthew 12:25 says that Jesus knew their hearts. He saw their motives.

The English word knew used in this verse is the Greek word eidō. It means this: to perceive with the eyes or any of the senses; to notice, discern or see; to pay attention, observe; to turn the eyes, the mind, the attention to anything, to understand or perceive.

Eido is used 465 times in the New Testament and is translated in English as saw or knew. The discernment that Jesus used was insight that he developed by paying attention to the inner witness in His spirit that alerted Him that something wasn’t right. He observed the behavior of others. He noticed and perceived their motives. When the accusations flew in, He didn’t discount or minimize what He observed.

He saw. He knew.

I know what you might be thinking. Jesus was God’s son. He had supernatural intuition and insight. Yes, He did, but so do you! You’ve been adopted and predestined. You are a daughter of the Most High. You were chosen in him before the foundation of the world. And if that’s not enough to convince you, Ephesians 1:8 says that he lavished upon you all wisdom and insight making known to you the mystery of his will.

When others have evil agendas, you can discern their motives as well. You, my friend, have the same capacity to see and know!

When you discern something is off, observe manipulative behavior or realize that others are trying to gaslight you, don’t write it off as if you’re imagining things. Trust your gut. You can walk in the fullness of your inheritance and God-given discernment.