She's Not Your Enemy: Conquering Our Insecurities So We Can Build God's Kingdom TogetherSample

Stronger Together

We are wired to make comparisons with others and to notice our similarities and differences. The problem is when we use comparison to measure our worth. Comparison becomes unhealthy when it leads to social-ranking competition instead of kingdom-building cooperation.

James 3:13–16 says, "Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”

The problem is not just about our own issues of jealousy or envy. They burn us individually. But the original language indicates that this issue negatively affects the kingdom of God as a whole, creating rivalry and divisions.

If we tackle competition and unhealthy comparison in our lives, we need a perspective of God’s character based on truth, not determined by what we feel at the time or by the world around us. Our view of God—who he is and who he says we are—makes all the difference in how we interact with those around us.

Here is the constant, unfailing truth: Our God is not a God of impatience, frustration, short temper, favoritism, unhealthy demands, or exclusion. He’s a God who invites us in, valuing each of us the way he made us.

I haven’t always viewed God that way. I’ve often viewed him suspiciously, anxious about earning his approval, and devastated when I felt he didn’t support me (especially when he seemed to be blessing someone else). With my eyes set on proving myself, I hurt and excluded others.

So how do we receive the blessings and assignments God has for us while cheering other women on for what he has for them?

We wholeheartedly embrace who God says we are. We recognize that we are of immeasurable value in God’s eyes and are stronger together as we each play the roles God intended for us.

What would it look like to cheer on another woman in your life with whom you have sometimes felt competitive?