Choosing FriendsSample

BUILDING INTENTIONAL FRIENDSHIPS

There is another level of friendship that is described in Scripture. These friends are what I call next-level friends. They not only lift you up but also call you forward. Having one or two of these in a lifetime is a true gift from God (Proverbs 18:24).

Jonathan was King Saul’s son. He was in line for kingship, but he gave it up for friendship. Jonathan made a covenant of friendship with David that would be passed down to their children. ‘“The Lord shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever”’ (1 Sam. 20:42b).

Many things can pull people together–hobbies, habits, politics, cuisine, culture, and shared dreams. But the one thing that puts steel in the cement of friendship is God. So, here are a few ways you can begin to build these kinds of intentional friendships.

Focus on Passion for God: Find people who share the same love for God. You’re not looking for perfect people but those who are certainly on the same path of following Christ. We can have rich acquaintances with people from other religions or even atheists, and forging those relationships is God’s call on His kids. But friendships that have staying power through storms are built on the rock of Jesus Christ.

Watch How Someone Responds to Adversity: Resist judging yourself by your best intentions, but judging others by a single moment of weakness. Everyone’s cup is going to get bumped, and what comes out isn’t always pretty. Don’t write off everyone who has a moment of weakness, but see if they humbly own it. If they do, you may have found a diamond in the rough.

Don’t be Hasty: Finding true friends takes time. Choosing friends needs to be in the context of life as it really is. Take the time to see someone in the highs and lows of life. Time is always on your side when choosing friends.

Be Open to Surprises: Friends often come in packages that may surprise you. God will give us friends who look and act very differently than ourselves. Background and style are not the measures for choosing friends. Look for those who aim to glorify God and help you win—substance matters more than style.

Ask Them to Be Your Friend: Formalizing friendship is something too few really do. Take the time to sit down and affirm your shared convictions, passions, and life direction, and commit yourself to being the kind of friend who can be trusted.

THE ROAD TO BETTER FRIENDSHIPS:

• Is there someone in your life who could potentially be this kind of “next-level friend?” Be bold and ask them if they would like to take your friendship even deeper.
• If none of the people you spend the most time with seem to have the potential to be this kind of friend, pray for wisdom to find a Jonathan or two in your life. Seek God to bring you the friend or friends you need.

This study is adapted from the book, The 7 Resolutions: Where Self-Help Ends and God’s Power Begins by Karl Clauson. Choosing the right friends is an essential factor for an abundant life. Take The 7 Resolutions assessment to find out how you can take steps toward that abundant life. https://www.7resolutions.com/assessment