The Rhythm of UsSample

The Rhythm of Adventure

Why do we need an adventure? And how in the world is adventure an essential part of a thriving marriage? The truth is, we’re all wired for adventure. No one wants to get to the end of their life still holding a long list of things they wish they had done. We all want to look back with gratitude and marvel at all the incredible adventures we got to experience in our life together.

When we stop adventuring and stop risking, we actually stop growing. When we allow fear, comfort, or apathy to keep us from growing and changing and trying new things together, we risk rusting out. As Jesus says in John 10:10, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” The life and marriage we truly desire lie on the other side of saying yes to the adventures God is calling us into.

Water Their Dreams

Do you know your spouse’s dreams? What are their greatest passions? When was the last time you asked? Take some time this week to listen to your spouse’s dreams or to help them uncover them for the first time. Look for clues. It could be something as simple as a passing comment or the way their eyes light up doing something they love. Great adventures are born when we begin to look for those small insights into one another and choose to take them seriously.

We each enter marriage as a whole person, carrying dreams, talents, and desires of our own. Having a thriving marriage means caring about and taking seriously the dreams for our life together that we both carry. Remember, loving someone well without entering their world is impossible. The healthiest couples take the time to find out their spouse’s dreams and then partner with them to bring those dreams to life.

Adventure can look as small as trying out something new together. Call a sitter and surprise him with a romantic night at a new hotel, or invite that new couple over for dinner. Whether it’s stepping out to start a new small group or trusting God to start a new company, you develop the rhythm of adventure together by saying yes, following God’s lead as a couple, and trusting Him for the outcome.

A life of adventure doesn’t have to mean hanging off a cliff every day (although I suppose it can). It means that we commit to each other not to fall asleep in our own lives, to fiercely care about the flourishing of each other’s souls, and to support each other’s dreams as they shift and change along the way. It means our lives are filled with the good stuff of life, the stuff that energizes us, propels us forward, and sparks curiosity. It means stepping in and showing up to the moments of our life—not just skimming through it, but living fully present to all of it, saying yes to new experiences, new adventures, and new opportunities at every turn.

Choose adventure together. Watch your marriage come alive.

PRACTICE:

• When was the last time you felt completely alive?
• When was the last time you took a risk together?
• Ask your spouse this week what some of their deepest dreams are. Think of some ways you can begin to water their dreams and watch them grow.
• Brainstorm with your spouse a handful of new things you’ve each been wanting to try. Make it a goal to try at least one per week.