Keeping Love Alive as Memories FadeSample

Jars of Clay

Caring for a person with dementia can be stressful. When stress is unrelenting, it can take a serious toll on the care partner's health. Margaret, Connie, Camille, and Sam all know this firsthand.

Margaret said, "There is no question that the stress of this disease has been problematic. My health is horrible." Similarly, Connie said, "Because I worry and take care of my husband, I forget myself." Newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, Connie lamented, "It has taken a physical toll on me."

Camille said, "I am in good health, so that’s great. But I have always been a walker and I am too depressed to walk. Walking would help the depression, but at the end of the day, I am just spent." 

After Sam's wife, Alison, became less mobile due to her Alzheimer's disease, he spent a lot of time "just sitting with her and loving on her, but not doing a lot of physical activity." As a result, he admits, "I was getting to be a tubby fellow."

Health problems, depression, and weight gain are common among stressed-out dementia care partners. Fortunately, Margaret, Connie, Camille, and Sam all wisely recognized the need to take better care of themselves. The women each sought both medical care and counseling. Sam decided he "had to start exercising!" and he successfully brought his weight under control. Sam also saw a counselor, and all four also joined a caregiver support group.

The Apostle Paul described Christians as "jars of clay" that house the precious, eternal treasures of God. Because human "clay" is mortal and fragile, it can be irreparably damaged by the stress and exhaustion of caregiving. Wise caregivers realize that in order to provide good care for their loved one, they must take care of their own physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

Caring for your own body, mind, and soul isn't selfish. Rather, it is a vital stewardship entrusted to you by the God who loves you. Is there an aspect of your self-care that you have neglected?