Becoming Husband and Wife

Ephesians 5:22-33 explains that God designed marriage to model the relationship between Christ and the church. This passage instructs husbands to love their wives sacrificially. In return, wives are called to submit to their husbands.

As an immature believer, I struggled against these verses during our engagement. “Submit” was a difficult word to accept. I was a strong, independent woman and did not love the idea that my role in marriage would involve submission. I feared that submission meant my opinions and thoughts wouldn’t hold as much weight and that I would lose my voice in our marriage.

In the early years of our marriage, I still convinced myself that I didn't need to submit; I could handle everything on my own. This attitude mirrored the beginning of my relationship with Christ.

I liked the idea of a Savior but didn’t want to admit I needed one. I’d go to church on Sundays but insist on running every other aspect of my life on my own. It wasn’t until I surrendered my life completely that I began to experience the abundant life that the Lord promises (John 10:10).

Much like my walk with Christ, it would take a few years for me to understand the joy and abundance found in submitting to a husband that would lay down his life for me, that loves me as he loves himself, that “nourishes and cherishes [me], just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:28-29).

In my opinion, the husband has the much more difficult end of this bargain. In exchange for honoring our husbands, we receive protection, encouragement, and sacrificial love.

The Bible tells us if we step back and allow our husbands to take on the role God designed for them as the leader of our families, we can experience a healthy, life-giving marriage. By assuming an attitude of honor and respect for your husband, you are setting the stage for him to develop into the man God is calling him to be.

As you prepare for marriage, pray about your future role and ask God to help you understand what might need to change in the dynamic of your relationship. If the call to “submit” evokes a negative response in your heart, ask God to reveal to you any areas of your life where you haven’t fully submitted to Jesus Christ.