Awake

We learn from Joseph that even a righteous man must sometimes be disturbed by Angels for God's plan to proceed. Mary's story wasn't enough for Joseph. Although he took pity on her feeble attempt to explain away a pregnancy, they both knew he had nothing to do with it. Joseph had made his plan. A broken engagement, a quiet escape. Perhaps as he closed his eyes with the heaviness of the decisions ahead, he muttered a prayer, "God be with her...." 

As Joseph drifts into sleep, he is forever entered into our nativity sets, the faithful man standing in Mary's shadow. An angel speaks to Joseph’s doubt, leaves him with a sense of urgency and a belief that he too has been invited into a story too big to understand at the time. "Don't be afraid to take Mary as your wife."
Trust Mary. Trust God. 

And he is awake. WIDE awake. 

Joseph listens to the sound of his heart beating hard in his chest. A decision to obey what his spirit is screaming means stepping into crazy. No one would recommend he follow through with the next step. 

"It's just a dream, Joseph, your mind processing the absurd story Mary told you earlier today...”
Yet, Joseph, a righteous man, wakes up and obeys. Mary opens the door in the early morning hours. Joseph stands breathless from the run. 

"Let's get married...." 

Why did you go to Mongolia? 

I often feel sorry for those who ask. I know that what they are about to hear will make them uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable too. It is much easier to answer, “What did you do in Mongolia?” BUT, why did we go is challenging to put into words without sounding...crazy. By now, I'm convinced part of keeping our hearts humble is telling the real answer to that question. 

One day, out of the blue, God
 spoke to my husband, Troy. "Sell your house and get ready to go to Mongolia.” Troy knew God's voice, knew it was God speaking to his heart, and he was awake.
Wide awake. God had succeeded in getting Troy's attention.
All that you may assume you might feel if you had been the receiver of such bizarre instructions is likely what Troy was feeling too. All the excuses of why this couldn't be happening and all the reasons why he was not qualified were very much alive in his mind. But the moment persisted into the day and was still with him at night. He woke up the following morning with the same instructions, "Sell your house and get ready to move to Mongolia.” Troy decided to obey, asking God, "Please be the first to tell Shari," because he didn't want to be the one to break this absurd news to me. You know what? God did that. I was away from home on a trip, not knowing anything God had been speaking to my husband. As I prayed, the Lord spoke to me, saying, "Trust Troy.” These two moments collided a few days later, and we recognized an invitation we had never expected. An invitation into crazy. It profoundly moves me to this day that God was able to convince Troy, with one powerful sentence, to uproot his family, to walk out of the acceptable boundaries of the American life, to trust God, and take a giant step of faith. But He did. 

Joseph was a righteous man. But he was simply a man, a human, a person. The angel invited Joseph to walk past his humanity and into an eternal story, but he wasn't given superpowers to do this. When God wakes you up, He leaves you a human awake. You still have a choice to make from a very human mind. He walks with us. He sends His Holy Spirit to empower us.... but we must obey. Later, even after all the years in Mongolia, after all the miracles, all the undoing of us, all the places God took us, we stand awed. How did that happen to us? How did we get to do that? 

Years later, perhaps Joseph went to see the empty tomb for himself when no one else was around. Standing there, his heart pounding in his chest, wide awake. He had raised God.