Grown Up's Guide to PrayerSample

Day 3: Give Us 

Prayer

Heavenly Father, show me where I am clinging to control, prioritizing my agenda over yours. Teach me to ask for your provision, pardon, and protection—all while surrendering to your will. 

Reading

We learned in Day 2 that the purpose of prayer is to align our will with God’s will. We do that by declaring his greatness and surrendering our agendas to God’s. 

If there’s something in you that fears or hesitates to pray, “Your will be done,” pay attention to that tension. It’s understandable to want to hold on tight to our wants and needs over God’s. But if we desire to have deep faith, we need to shift our focus to God’s will. Jesus invites us to experience the world in a way we never can—unless we surrender. 

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.’" Matthew 6:10)

Jesus has more to say about how to pray, and what follows assumes our surrender. Next, Jesus pivots to where most of us begin our prayers:

"Give us today . . ." (Matthew 6:11)

Finally, it’s our turn! But Jesus still isn’t throwing the doors wide open to prayer requests. He tells us to ask for three things in particular, and all three of them—provision, pardon, and protection—involve surrender. 

"Give us today our daily bread." (Matthew 6:11)

When Jesus’s first-century listeners heard, “Our daily bread,” they were reminded of when their ancestors crawled out of their tents each morning in the desert and collected only enough bread for the day—bread God miraculously provided. God was teaching the nation of Israel to recognize their dependence on him. 

When we pray for God’s provision, we’re reminded that God is our ultimate provider, not just of what we eat but everything. Today, in our culture of excess, we expect things. We feel entitled and eventually become ungrateful. Some of us have faced seasons or situations that show us how dependent on God we really are. That day will eventually come for all of us. Declaring our dependence on God keeps us from being deceived into thinking we don’t need him every day for everything. 

Once again, we find ourselves back at that open-handed place of surrender. 

Next, Jesus instructs his followers to pray for pardon. This is the part of Jesus’s prayer that many of us have prayed the most. 

"And forgive us our debts . . ." (Matthew 6:12)

If you were taught to pray when you were growing up, you were probably told to ask God for forgiveness. But we’re not often taught the second part:

". . . as we also have forgiven our debtors." (Matthew 6:12)

This is a request with a catch. Forgive me in the same way and to the same degree that I have forgiven the folks who’ve wronged me. Again, the assumption is surrender. As Jesus’s followers, we’re required to do to others as God through Jesus has done to us. 

When the apostle Paul writes to Jesus followers in Ephesus, he reverses the order:

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

We don’t forgive to be forgiven; we forgive because we’ve been forgiven. 

When you pray for God’s forgiveness, do a quick check: Are you withholding from somebody the very thing you expect God to grant you? If so, you’re falling into the hypocrisy trap. And when you expect God’s forgiveness but refuse to forgive others, you’re reducing God to a conscience cleaner. 

Contrary to what you may have been told, prayer is not a conscience cleanse. The reason we confess our sin and ask for forgiveness is to restore relationship with our heavenly Father. And when we forgive others, we’re releasing them from a debt they may never be able to pay anyway. 

Maybe forgiveness sounds too hard. Maybe we don’t want to learn to pray correctly after all. We feel justified in our anger, hurt, and resentment. But surrendering to Jesus through forgiving others protects us from allowing those who wronged us to become our Lord. Surrendering to Jesus in this way ensures that we don’t give in to bitterness and grudge-holding. 

Jesus invites you through surrender to a better way of living, a better way of life. Forgiving makes you a better spouse, sibling, parent, friend, neighbor. Forgiving introduces you to a world of peace and freedom you’ll never know—until you let go.

Lastly, the Jesus prayer takes us to another place of surrender as we ask for God’s protection. 

"And lead us not into temptation . . ." (Matthew 6:13)

The topic of protection is so big, we’ll save it for Day 4. 

Reflection

Have you ever been through circumstances that remind you acutely of your dependence on God for his provision? Did this change your prayer life? How? Is there somebody who could use your pardon, for you to cancel their debt? Would you be willing to decide that they don’t owe you anymore?