Spiritual Intimacy as CouplesSample

Trial and Error

Chris and Angela from Indiana, married 14 years

We dated for 9 years, starting in high school, so we have been together for 23 years. We were very involved in our youth group, so we began praying together early in our relationship. No one had modeled or taught us about spiritual intimacy, so we just tried different things. I (Chris) had been told that adding spiritual elements in a dating relationship was risky because the temptation to go further physically would increase. But as a follower of Christ, I knew that I wanted my relationship with my girlfriend to be centered on Jesus. We talked about it, set more boundaries, and continued to pray and read our Bible together. 

As we grew older and went to separate colleges, we still prayed some, but it became less frequent. Then as we entered marriage, we tried different things such as devotionals, Bible study plans, and times of prayer. However, we weren’t very consistent with reading together. Consistently spending time with other believers and serving together has helped us continue to develop spiritual intimacy.

Presently, we both serve in middle school ministry; taking time to discuss what the Lord is doing in the lives of students and in our own lives has deepened our connection. Also, there is something about worshiping as a couple with other followers of Jesus that helps us grow closer spiritually. 

Hope for the Future

Over the next few months I (Chris) would like to be more intentional about prayer and Bible study with my wife. Now with three kids, jobs, homeschooling, and various activities, at the end of the day, it’s easy to just veg out and watch TV. I need to take those moments and be more intentional about spiritual intimacy with my wife.

Reflection

In what ways does your spiritual intimacy with your partner look different now compared to when your relationship was brand new?

Do you notice any barriers that make it difficult to have spiritual conversations?