Parenting Above FearSample

Questions to reflect on:

What am I afraid of?

What is my role as a parent? 

Do I trust God to guard my children whom He has entrusted to me, or has fear, with its potential addiction to safety (control) become my definition of love? 

Devotion:

There have been many occasions in which I have spoken to parents, and their stance on safety for their children feels like a desperate plea with the world to spare their child any hurt or wounding. Choosing to baptize with fear in the name of safety, in some cases, is presented as provision and love. 

We know that this world comes with an abundance of pain and suffering, for we are humans with flaws and brokenness. We also know that we have a God who has never controlled us through fear; who actually continually encourages those He loves to “not be afraid,” 365 times in Scripture (Matthew 17:7). God especially uses those words before an invitation into a great dance of trust and adventure. 

Those whom we admire in the Bible, we admire for their courage and stepping into the world with boldness, trusting the goodness of their Father. The struggle of parenting can be trusting in that same Father who first loved us (1 John 4:19), and believing that His love also includes our children. Knowing how much we and our children are loved, it becomes our great honor to explore with our children outside the walls of our home and enter the world where they can experience a full and robust life. At times this includes pain and suffering. In order to trust that our lives are meant to be expressions of great power and adventure, we must work to be free from the trap of fear that causes us to hold those we love too close and too tight for too long. 

Let’s explore together in these four days how to move beyond fear and what it means to live into the power that emerges from abundant love and wisdom.  

Verses to Meditate On

Matthew 17:7

And Jesus came to them and touched them and said, “Get up, and do not be afraid.”

I John 4:18-19

There is NO fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves (has) punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.

Including Kids in the Conversation

Ask your child to imagine they are a parent, they are responsible to take care of another person; what some things are that might make them afraid, or that they might worry about. After they express their thoughts, share some of the fears you thought of during your meditation. They may have even mentioned some of the fears that came to mind for you which will confirm their sense of the fear of a parent. After discussing the potential fears or worries that parents experience, read together or put into your own words  1 John 4:18-19. 

Parents are not perfect in our love, but we do have a God who we can look to who is perfect love, and that God is living in us and teaching us how to love well. From 1 John we can see that being perfected (brought to wholeness) in love means to be free from the torment of fear. As a parent, it can be difficult to allow our kids to experience the pain and suffering that comes with independence. 

Here is a sample of what you might say to your child(ren):

“Parents want to keep you safe, and sometimes we believe that making you fearful will help, but I (we) want to teach you how much love and power is within you by the presence of the Holy Spirit. If together we can learn to trust in God’s love, and remind each other that God tells us 365 times in the Bible not to be afraid, then we as your parents will work hard to stay away from creating imaginations of fear to keep you safe. We want you to be wise, to have self-control and independence. In order to gain those gifts, it takes time, practice, and some difficult learning for all of us.” 

Questions to Ask Your Kids

How have you experienced us trying to protect you from things you feel ready to face?

In what ways can we help you feel ready to confront things that are challenging or scary?

You might even ask your child(ren) to pray for you, that you too would learn to trust more.