Aftershock - IntroductionSample

Like natural disasters, relational disasters often get worse before they get better. Some husbands wait weeks or months after their initial shocking revelation before admitting to other sordid behavior.

Some men who commit to a recovery process make a full confession quickly and clearly. For most men, however, it takes weeks to fully disclose their secrets. After years of minimizing and suppressing their sexual history, many men don’t initially understand, or can’t remember, everything they need to confess. Or in spite of their best efforts to keep certain behavior hidden, new evidence comes to light and more truth is exposed.

Being aware that there may be more to your husband’s story can help lessen the shock if additional information is revealed. This is why it’s useful to get professional help early. Such interactions are so emotionally charged and complex that objective guidance from a well-trained professional is essential to wade through the muck. If you are still new in your process, do all you can to get help as early as possible.

Giving a second chance to someone who might not deserve it is often beyond our human ability. But extending hope and grace and being willing to engage in an honorable “fight” for your marriage is more than a feeling; it’s a God thing. It’s a strength that comes from beyond you, strength that you can willfully access as part of Christ’s ongoing work in your life.

You will need support from others as you decide to fight for your marriage. Surround yourself with wise advice. Some people would have you roll over in passivity, while others might justifiably be so angry for you that they’d pay your lawyer bill today!

But right now, while your emotions are raging or numb, just hang on. Even if you fear there is no hope for your marriage, take a deep breath and believe that you’ve taken a valuable step forward.

The decision to invest in giving your marriage a chance isn’t a guarantee of success, but it’s right, and it reflects God’s heart and hope. He always aims to repair broken things and make them even better than they were before.