Winsome Conversations in Divisive TimesSample

Share Stories, Not Just Conclusions

Sharing our stories and not just our conclusions always makes a discussion better. It makes it easier to share because you are not speaking as an expert or as a philosopher or theologian, you are simply telling your story. Also, sharing your story often helps people be sensitive to one another because it helps them understand you better. We might call this “narrating our convictions.” 

A helpful way to start narrating a conviction is to say something like, “Let me tell you what I think about immigration and why I think that I think it,” or simply, “Here’s what I think I think.” Saying “what I think I think” is certainly saying an awkward phrase, and of course this wording is optional. However, it conveys some of the honest uncertainty that lies in understanding our own hearts and it also helps people to move into a storytelling mode rather than a teaching mode. In the teaching mode, we often just pass along propositional content instead of stories and experiences. It also tends to be a one-way conveying of information and arguments rather than an invitation to conversation. If we say, “Here’s what I think I think,” we invite others to say something like, “Yes, but have you thought about this?” 

Narrating a conviction, then, begins with a clear statement of the conviction but then moves on to an informal, provisional telling of the story behind it. For example, Tim’s view of factory unions is deeply influenced by his father being a proud union member. Rick’s view of immigration is shaped by his father being a first-generation immigrant who fled his home country to escape the Nazis when he was only fifteen. Remember, convictions are not merely facts we dispassionately debate; rather, they are personal views deeply enveloped in the narratives of our lives!