You’re Not the Boss of Me: 7 Keys to Managing AnxietySample

Mind Your Mind

If you want to show anxiety who’s boss, you’ve got to mind your mind. I don’t know about you, but there are times I open my phone for just a second and end up spending the better part of an hour scrolling through social media. As I scroll, if I’m not careful, I can slide into comparison. Comparing someone else’s highlight reel to my behind-the-scenes life. Seeing perfect homes, attentive parents, and well-mannered children ends up making me feel worse about my own life. I watch DIY projects with no mistakes, cute outfits put together with pennies and meals whipped up with just the ingredients in a pantry. I’m sure I’m not alone; we’ve all looked at someone else’s life and thought ours wasn’t good enough.

What we fill our minds with has a profound effect on us. I love what Paul says to the church in Philippi, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8, NIV). We see this truth at work whenever scripture speaks of meditation. Hebrew meditation isn’t just about emptying one’s mind of wrong things; it’s about filling your mind with the right things.

What goes in our mind shapes our outlook, alters our perspective, and makes a profound impact on our lives. For me, worship music quickly brings me back to center. I turn up the volume in our house speakers and every room I walk into is filled with beautiful truth. The same can be said for online messages or podcasts. Find what works for you, and fill your mind with His truth, His promises, and His highlight reel of your life.

Another way to create a healthy perspective is to focus on gratitude. A 2017 study from Harvard Medical School showed gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships. There is a direct association between gratitude and an individual’s well-being.

A few months into my divorce, my mind was in overdrive. Anxiety was definitely the boss of my life. As hard as I tried to mind my mind, worst case scenarios ran rapid. One day, I remember stopping in my tracks and saying to myself, “Nothing around me feels ‘good.’ But God is still good. I know He is. Nothing around me seems hopeful. But I know God is still good.” That day I made an intentional focus to stop and see ways God was good around and to me. I began recording five things every day that I was grateful for in my “focus on the good” journal. It was a simple concept, elementary actually. Some days, my gratitude would be centered around a walk outdoors and what my senses had experienced. The next day, it might include enjoying my favorite ice cream. The practice forced me to mind my mind and make sure anxiety wasn’t bossing me around. It switched my perspective so I was able to see happiness in my life again. It created an outlet that wasn’t centered on what was going wrong in my life but centered on what was truly going right.

The Harvard study states that “gratitude may foster resilience in a period of life transition.” And for me it did. Gratitude allowed me to step outside of my pain and see God at work in my life in large and small ways. Focusing on gratitude allows us to realize how blessed we are even in the midst of heartache. Seeing how God is still working and doing good in our lives helps put anxiety in the back row instead of the driver’s seat of our lives.