Healing From Sexual ShameSample

Where Does Our Hope Come From?

In order to make sexual abstinence attractive, purity culture placed a huge emphasis on the future reward of marriage and sex for those who stayed pure. Without realizing it, I began pursuing purity more to secure those blessings than to obey God, believing that those were the things I was waiting for, the things that would fulfill all my longings. Then, five years into my marriage, my husband left me. 

I was left to grapple with the reality that sexual obedience does not guarantee specific earthly blessings. Rather, the pursuit of sexual purity is about loving God and obeying him as worship. When the earthly gifts began to crumble around me, I had to take a deeper look at the source of my hope.

Instead of reading all those books about dating and waiting for marriage, I wish I had focused more on the extraordinary worth of Christ—how we can live with hope and joy every day, regardless of our relationship status or sexual histories. The hope of eternity with Jesus is a sturdy tree when everything else in life begins to sway and break.

While purity culture fixed my eyes on this life, God’s Word fixes my eyes on my future with Jesus. Revelation 21:4 says that we have everything to look forward to—a reality where there will be no more pain, no more death, and no more tears. Romans 5:5 tells us that this hope “does not disappoint,” because God loves us (NRSV). No matter what you have endured in this life—disappointments, mistakes, and abuse—there is joy ahead. Eternal joy. 

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9 NLT)

Take a moment to imagine the things that God has prepared for you. 

Turn to God in prayer, asking him to fix your eyes on your future hope and life with him.

Adapted from Talking Back to Purity Culture: Rediscovering Faithful Christian Sexuality. Copyright © 2020 by Rachel Joy Welcher. Used by permission. For more information, please visit https://ivpress.com/talking-back-to-purity-culture.