Overcome Porn: The 40 Day ChallengeSample

Today we will look at a very high-level overview of the steps to take to quit porn.

1. Educate yourself. Educate yourself about all the things porn is robbing from your life, the way it’s negatively impacting your brain, your body, and your relationships—even your most cherished relationships.

2. Clean house and set up boundaries. Make sure you clean house and set barriers between yourself and access to porn. Using accountability software is a great start. If you have resolved to avoid porn, remember that a day will likely come when you don’t have that resolve, so making sure you have built-in protections now is key.

3. Set small, measurable goals. Don’t make promises like, “I’ll never watch porn again.” Start with, “Today I will not watch porn.” You need to stop thinking about sexual freedom as a destination and start thinking about it as a daily—sometimes hourly—choice.

4. Write down your exit strategies. Write down the places and situations where you’re most tempted, and then write down how you plan to flee from those situations in that moment. 

5. Do a sexual fast. A porn addict is hooked on the neurochemicals released in his or her brain during the pornographic encounter. Many addiction therapists recommend letting these neuro-circuits rest for 6-8 weeks in a “sexual fast.”

Sexual fasting can also have a powerful positive effect in your marriage, since it will enable you to be creative in ways you show love to your spouse. It will also show him or her that you view them as a person to be loved, not an object to be used. We do recommend discussing this period of fasting with your spouse and, optionally, a counselor first.

6. Write down positive motivations. Write down a vision statement that says, “This is the kind of man or woman I long to become,” and then write down character traits and virtues that you want to have—things you know porn is robbing from you. When you are tempted, read it again!

Reflection

• Which of these strategies resonated most with you? Why do you think it did?
• What step can you take today to implement one of these strategies? (You may want to share your ideas with your ally.)