Overcome Porn: The 40 Day ChallengeSample

Fighting toxic shame is perhaps the greatest hurdle to getting real with someone and sharing our secrets. Deep down, we hate how far we've fallen, hate what it says about our character and our weaknesses, and hate the thought of what others would think of us if they knew.

For some of us, this prevents us from ever opening up to others. It prevents us from being 100% honest when we confess our sins and struggles. 

Sadly, often the very shame that is keeping us from others is what is driving our obsession with porn.

The Bible sees a vital link between sexual sin and social shame. The apostle Paul said those whose lives are marked by sexual immorality and impurity commit these acts “in secret” (Eph. 5:3,12). Paul likens this way of life as hiding in “darkness” (Eph. 5:8, 11). Sexual sin seeks out dark corners to hide so its deeds are not exposed to God or to others (John 3:20).

Destroying porn habits starts when we choose to confront the shame we feel around it. We must choose to come out of hiding and build safeguards that prevent us from hiding again.

It’s hard to trust people with your secrets. People can always let you down. But the pain and risk of keeping the secret is greater than the risk of telling wise people who can possibly help you.

Action Steps

1. Safeguard your devices from secrecy. Technology has not only become the easiest access point for pornography; it is also the easiest place to hide. Install accountability on your devices and find an ally to keep you accountable! 

2. Safeguard your heart from toxic shame. As we said already, shame is a normal response to sin. But shame becomes toxic when it is reinforced by the idea that we and our relationships are irreparable and irredeemable. We can fight this belief by creating for ourselves a circle of friends where we fight this false belief together.

Reflection

• If you’ve signed up for Covenant Eyes (you can get the first month with the promo code youversion) how has it helped you combat shame so far? If you’re not using it, what’s holding you back?
• Do you have friends who are helping you combat toxic shame? How can you deepen those friendships, or develop them in the first place? (Try to come up with one action item.)