40acts: Ready to ActSample

Act 38: Reconciliation 

When people fall out with each other, the pain of that broken relationship brings anguish to all parties which can then ripple out. Saying sorry is really hard, and sometimes doesn’t feel enough to heal the rift. What’s sometimes needed is mediation: listening carefully to both sides and steering them back onto common ground. 

As the youngest child, growing up with two older brothers, falling out with one another was part of ordinary life. We were a fairly sporty, competitive bunch, so the skirmishes were often about whose turn it was to bat or bowl or go in goal, or occasionally slightly more serious disputes about someone caught cheating in a game or, at least, bending the rules a little to their advantage.

Most of those childhood fallings out were quickly forgotten or resolved, but as I grew older, I realised that many of the disagreements I encountered were often much more complex both to understand and to resolve. I also realised that some of that competitiveness remains – being proved right, or being unwilling to admit we might be wrong, can leave us stuck in entrenched positions. Sometimes those positions get so stuck that we’ve almost forgotten the original cause of the disagreement – we are now fighting the person themselves rather than their opinion.

But it doesn’t have to be like that. Moving towards the other person when we’re in conflict is not something that happens by accident. We choose to do it. 

Forgiveness and reconciliation are at the heart of the gospel. Just as God has reconciled us with himself, with his help we can humble ourselves, forgive (or apologise) and restore broken relationships with each other. There is a cost; it requires persistence and courage, but it’s worth it for the freedom and love that replaces anger and bitterness.