Heroic Husbandry: Reclaiming Hero Status in Your MarriageSample

Hero’s Shield

My favorite scenes in action movies are when the protagonist begins training to defeat his/her foe. It is during this training that, over time, they transition from zeroes to heroes. I think of Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai or even Po in Kung Fu Panda. I treasure these scenes.

As you train in Heroic Husbandry, there is one skill you must master - grace. Yes, grace. The essence of grace is treating someone better than they deserve. It is crucial to your relationship with your bride!

As you follow Jesus, pay close attention to how He treats you better than you deserve. The more you do, the more you begin to treat your bride better than she deserves in all things, big and small. This is a self-controlled, upright, and godly life. This is Heroic Husbandry.

But this can be hard to do, especially in the face of criticism. How many times have you entered dialogue, fully intending to reconcile things, only to be thrown off the rails by a single, harsh comment by that lovely lady of yours? We’ve all been there. I have.

What we need is a shield.

If I asked you to picture Captain America, you’d probably first picture his shield. He’s known for it. It’s legendary! Bullets, blades, and bad guys hit that shield to no avail. It endures.

You, too, hero, must be known for your shield. Your ‘grace shield’. 

It doesn’t matter how good our intentions are, without a  ‘grace shield’ even mild criticism can render us explosive.

Okay, now picture Thor holding his hammer aloft, lightning surging down from the clouds, entering him, and then thundering out of him. Husband, this is Jesus’ desire for you. (Not that you become the God of Thunder, but that His grace will flow from heaven and bless your bride through you. No matter how many rude remarks, sinful eye-rolls, or distorted facts flung your way, the grace shield endures and God’s power flows – for her sake. 

So, next time a nag comes your way, use your ‘grace shield’. Treat her better than she deserves. 

She may not appreciate it right away, but that’s okay. A real hero doesn’t need to be thanked.