Devotions & Reflections for WomenSample

Worth the Wait

A commitment you can walk away from isn’t really a commitment.

You know there are some things you don’t have to “road test” -- drugs, pornography and prostitution, just to name a few. Some things are just givens -- you know they’re wrong or right, based on the Bible and on the consequences you see in people’s lives. But before making long-term decisions where the stakes are high, many people want to stick a toe in the water to test the outcome. Marriage is one of those long-term decisions many people fear. Can you relate?

Statistically, more couples are living together before marriage than ever before. The high divorce rate has turned more people away from thoughts of “I do” to thoughts of “I want to, but I need to try it out first.” They believe divorce is to be avoided at all costs, even at the cost of compromising what they may know to be the best way.

The problem with the living-together option is that it’s commitment “lite” -- a promise of commitment with a backdoor to it. All of the pleasures of intimacy without the messy aftermath -- or so people think. But a commitment you can walk away from isn’t really a commitment. And contrary to what the movies and TV programs show, it comes with a hidden emotional and spiritual cost.

So how can you really know that you’ll stay together if you don’t live together beforehand? What are some alternatives to living together?

• Get premarital counseling. Counseling can help you explore your fears or unrealistic fantasies about marriage. See if your church can give you some names of reputable counselors.
• Find “marriage mentors.” Get to know an older couple, one with whom you can feel comfortable discussing the hard realities of marriage. Learn what has kept them together through good times and bad.
• Dump the divorce option. The only guarantee that you’ll stay together is to decide beforehand that divorce is not an option.
• Know God’s Word. Don’t just rely on the advice of your friends. Know what the Bible says.

Living together before marriage isn’t a guarantee that you’ll avoid divorce later. Nor is living together a guarantee that you will eventually marry. Many couples wind up separating before they reach the altar.

Want God’s absolute best for you? Wait for the wedding. You’re worth waiting for.

Reflect

What steps do you take when you need to make an important decision?