Finding Your Freedom // Leave Shame BehindSample

 How to Love God and Love Yourself

I will never tire of saying this: I love you. I will never tire of pursuing you. The lie that you don’t measure up—that you aren’t worthy of love—needs to be extinguished now. It distracts you from hearing Me. It distorts truth. There is some work you need to do when these lies come in. For, with this distortion of truth, how will you live in freedom? How will you see with your eyes, hear with your ears, receive with your heart?

You are not fully you now—completely healed, completely strong. And that is okay. It is perfectly okay. For I love you right now. I love who you are right now. You are going to grow in truth, in faith, in love. But I also hope you love yourself now, accept yourself now, forgive yourself now, for I do. Will you accept my gift of grace?

The gifts I give you are ones you desperately need. I don’t give willy-nilly. I am not indiscriminate. I am not unsure. So, when I give you the gift of grace, what do you do with it? Do you accept it? Do you let Me love you? Do you let Me teach you how to love yourself? For if you don’t, if you continue to reject My grace, My love for you, you are isolating yourself in a pit of pride. Rather than abiding in My love, you seek a place where truth cannot reach you anymore. And it is not good here, is it? It is uncomfortable and exhausting. It is where angst lives, the absence of hope and peace. This is not for you. But you can choose it, you certainly can, if you want to.

Until you are willing to love yourself, you will struggle with loving Me. You will push back against Me. You will reject what I say. You will feel alone and angry. You will feel isolated from true connection—from feeling known and appreciated for who you are. I want to give this gift of grace to you now. I hold it out to you, my hands reaching for yours, my eyes on your face. While Jesus gives it to you, with his death and resurrection, his new life now available to you, it is up to you to accept it. And it is a daily acceptance, or rejection, of His grace, my ultimate love.

So what will your choice be this day? Believe the lie that I don’t still love you, now? Or throw that lie into the fire? Believe that you have messed up too much to feel joy and freedom? Or reject what is false, pulling those lies out by their roots?

It is time to be kind to yourself. It is time to be loved by Me. It is time to let Me show you how my love for you equips you to love yourself, and others, as well as transform your every thought, influence your every move. 

I have such good for you now. For I am for you, not against you. But because I love you, I am going to challenge you here—only connection with Me will protect your heart from these attacks. Only a deepening relationship with Me will strengthen your love for yourself—so that when the lies come about how you are unworthy, a mess, a disaster, a disgrace, you will recognize that those are not words from Me. You will discern lies from truth—knowing that such words to you I would never, ever say. 

Practice receiving more of my love by connecting with Me. This is your job. This is your number one thing to do today.

Exercise:

Jesus’ love for his bride, the church—for you and me, personally—is beyond anything that we can understand or imagine. Here on earth, we’ll never be able to fathom the full nature of it, the full depth and breadth of His love. In fact, our understanding of it will always be wrong. For no matter how good and how loving we imagine Him to be—He’ll always be better than that.

He’s always better than we think.

We get to see an aspect of God’s love in the tender verses of Song of Solomon, a book of the Bible that illustrates, through a man’s affections for his bride, God’s pursuit of us—the bride of Jesus Christ.

“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you,” says the groom in Song of Solomon to his bride. God believes we are beautiful. We are His creation—made in love, made to be loved. We are the ones God wants. We are the ones He chose to be the focus of His love. Out of all creation, out of everything in the universe, He chose us. And He is preparing us now, during our time on earth. He’s cleaned the slate—with the blood of Jesus. He’s made us beautiful, because He loves us that much. 

But in the message you just read, Holy Spirit says, “Until you are willing to love yourself, you will struggle with loving Me. You will push back against Me. You will reject what I say. You will feel alone and angry. You will feel isolated from true connection—from feeling known and appreciated for who you are.”

Do you feel God’s intense love for you, uniquely? Do you believe He loves you that much?

Are you having a hard time loving yourself?

We’ve talked about the importance of surrendering to God the lies we’re believing—giving them to Him, in exchange for His truth.

But now, as another way to break the lies we believe, let’s let God’s love, His all-in crazy love, wash over us. Because the more of His love we’re able to receive, the more we’ll be able to love ourselves—and the more we’ll be able to love Him back. So, let’s ask God to help us believe that these songs in Song of Solomon are truly for us—for each of us to hear, personally. Let's soak in the truth that we are absolutely adored, just as we are, right now.

Now, you are going to read an excerpt from chapter four of Song of Solomon . It’s where the groom admires his bride’s beauty. Now, this might feel a bit uncomfortable. It’s easy to think, “These words couldn’t possibly be for me.” It’s an incredibly intimate poem. But by hearing these words, by taking them in, by wrestling with them, by seeing this picture of ideal love in marriage, we get a unique glimpse into the relationship between Christ and the Church.

And if you struggle with the words, that’s good. We want you to struggle with them. Because we should be struggling with them. All Scripture, every word, is “written by the Holy Spirit, the breath of God.” Every chapter, every verse will “empower you by its instruction and correction, giving you the strength to take the right direction and lead you deeper into the path of godliness.” That is from 2 Timothy chapter 3, verse 16. So, struggling with Song of Solomon is good for us—even for the guys out there. And just like any part of God’s Word, we neglect it at our peril.

So, get comfortable now: stretch, roll your shoulders, reach your hands above your head. And, as you read, I invite you to accept these words into your heart. They come directly from One who gave everything for you. From the One who’d do it again, in an instant.

4 Listen, my dearest darling,

   you are so beautiful—you are beauty itself to me!

   Your eyes glisten with love,

   like gentle doves behind your veil.

   What devotion I see each time I gaze upon you.

   You are like a sacrifice ready to be offered.

2 When I look at you,

   I see how you have taken my fruit and tasted my word.

   Your life has become clean and pure,

   like a lamb washed and newly shorn.

   You now show grace and balance with truth on display.

3 Your lips are as lovely as Rahab’s scarlet ribbon,

   speaking mercy, speaking grace.

   The words of your mouth are as refreshing as an oasis.

   What pleasure you bring to me!

   I see your blushing cheeks

   opened like the halves of a pomegranate,

   showing through your veil of tender meekness.

4 When I look at you,

   I see your inner strength, so stately and strong.

   You are as secure as David’s fortress.

   Your virtues and grace cause a thousand famous soldiers

   to surrender to your beauty.

7 Every part of you is so beautiful, my darling.

   Perfect is your beauty, without flaw within.

8 Now you are ready, my bride,

   to come with me as we climb the highest peaks together.

   Come with me through the archway of trust.

   We will look down

   from the crest of the glistening mounts

   and from the summit of our sublime sanctuary.

   Together we will wage war

   in the lion’s den and the leopard’s lair

   as they watch nightly for their prey.

9 For you reach into my heart.

   With one flash of your eyes I am undone by your love,

   my beloved, my equal, my bride.

   You leave me breathless—

  I am overcome

   by merely a glance from your worshiping eyes,

   for you have stolen my heart.

   I am held hostage by your love

   and by the graces of righteousness shining upon you.

Father, you have chosen me to be the focus of Your love. I don’t understand why, but I accept that you did. I am trying to accept it. Help me to accept it more. Help me to accept more of Your love. Help me to welcome Your love and not push it away. Help me to be confident in Your love—so that I can begin to love myself more, and so that I can love you back with the love You give me. That’s what I want.

In Your Son Jesus’ name, Amen.