The Five Marks of a Man Seven Day Devotion by Brian TomeSample

Day 4

Men Are Team Players

Ecclesiastes 4:12

We think lone wolves are dark, mysterious, and strong. They’re the stuff of legends. The truth about lone wolves, however—which I learned from an animal trainer in the mountains of Montana who owns previously wild wolves—is that they are weak, malnourished, and have short lives. Wolves need a pack with which to circle and kill an animal. They need a pack to huddle with for warmth and protection. Lone wolves don’t get enough to eat, and they die prematurely and alone.

Lone wolves are losers. In the wild, lone wolves can’t thrive, nor in life can men thrive on their own. We may be able to fund an early retirement on our own, but we can’t truly experience and enjoy life without some brothers. Worse yet, we all have permanent or temporary weaknesses that a brother can help us navigate or even overcome.

If there was only one spiritual discipline I could immediately give to you, what do you think it would be?

Some might say reading the Bible. Wrong.

Some might say prayer. Wrong again.

Some might say going to church. Still wrong.

Cynics might expect this megachurch pastor to say giving more money away. Wrong yet again.

If there was one discipline I could impart to every male, it would be this: Choose the right friends, and leverage them wisely. 

In his book Love and Survival: The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy, Dr. Dean Ornish speaks to the importance of relationships: “I am not aware of any other factor in medicine—not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery—that has greater impact on our quality of life, incidence of illness, and premature death from all causes.”

We will physically die earlier if we don’t have great friends, and that will be after we have already died spiritually. In fact, if we don’t have great friends, we are spiritually dead already. I’ve seen it too many times to be convinced otherwise.

Male friendship is a spiritual discipline, and it needs to be elevated. If we know how to maintain strong, godly friendships, we will make fewer mistakes in our lives, and we’ll recover more quickly from those we do make.

What activity could you do with other men in order to connect? How could you make that a regular thing?