Connection KillersSample

Day 6: Attitude

Attitude can have several meanings, both good and bad. But for the purpose of a connection killer, attitude is that antagonistic, pessimistic, mean, and cold spirit that could use a good adjustment. When dealing with people, attitudes determine our thoughts, feelings, and behavior, so if we don’t have a good handle on them, they can create a disconnection as others attempt to shield themselves from the toxic effects. Attitudes can also become contagious and alter others’ behaviors both positively and negatively, which makes an even greater case to get them in check. 

Attitudes are not quick gut decisions but rather long-term opinions that come from processing four components: whether or not we feel that we will gain or experience a loss from the other person, our framework that we have created to understand others, our internal value system or moral code, and an ego defense to protect self-worth. The effort level to change how we perceive these components can vary, but the good news is that we have the ability to make it happen.

If someone has an attitude toward you, then you can explain in a friendly way how you can add value, attempt to uncover their understanding of you, discuss good morals, and/or preserve their ego to try to reverse the polarity. And if you notice that you have the attitude that day, then do the same for yourself by finding their value, looking for a personal bias or prejudice that could be hampering your understanding, reminding yourself about your moral code, and humbly dropping your ego. 

It may not change overnight. An attitude can be like a bad habit that’s hard to break. It may take several injections of positive experience and reframing before you notice a change. Defeating an attitude requires numerous attempts at more patience, kindness, and love. Challenge your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Then over time, you’ll see the benefits as you connect more and avoid those costly disconnections. 

Luckily for us, God never needs an attitude adjustment. God always wants the best for us and sees us as valuable, special, and full of purpose. God is love, and he loves us so much that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).

Pray:

God, help us bring kind thoughts, feelings, and behavior into relationships so that we can rejoice with cheerful attitudes.

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