Developing the Fruit of the Spirit in Your ChildSample

Self Control

By Sabrina McDonald

Ben Carson struggled with anger as a young man, but one day it occurred to him that if people could make him angry “they could control me,” he said. “Why should I give someone else such power over my life?”

Carson began practicing self-control, and this troubled young man, who struggled through school, went on to become a successful brain surgeon and author. He even ran for president of the United States.

Self-control gives children the ability to do the right thing even when they don’t feel like it, to say no to their natural urges in favor of what’s best. Proverbs 25:28 says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”

When a person can’t say no to temptation, he opens himself to the types of enticements that can destroy a life: drug addiction, physical abuse, and other vices.

All children struggle with self-control. They don’t know how to restrain their desires, so they indulge in pleasures like food or screen time. They take what they want, even if it belongs to others. And when they don’t get what they want, they complain or become angry. Parents can identify these areas of temptation and set up boundaries to help train children. 

If your kids have emotional outbursts, help them discover the root of their anger and calmly present the choices and consequences of overindulgence. Then, most importantly, follow through with discipline.

Don’t immediately give children everything they want, but set up a system of earning and saving. This could involve actual money, or it could be a system to earn privileges.

Some activities, such as video games and time on a smartphone, can actually create a lack of self-control. Look for symptoms, such as irritation, anger, or an increased need to indulge. It may mean taking away those activities permanently.

Your verbal encouragement is crucial as you develop this character trait. Look for the moments your child displays self-control and praise them for it. Plant seeds in your child’s heart through the word of God, and pray for God to manifest this fruit in their lives.

For more help developing the fruit of the Spirit in your child complete the “Like Arrows” reading plan by FamilyLife.