Serving You Because I Love You

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”—Philippians 2:1–5 (NIV)

Let’s face it, one of the greatest challenges couples face is the tendency of each person in the relationship to think of themselves instead of the other. Our sinful ways will always want to push us to think of ourselves first, second, and always. But that’s not how God wants us to relate to each other.

As a matter of fact, in one of our Lord’s final acts before He was to be crucified on the cross for the sins of the world, He performed an act of service that was so radical back then that one of His closest disciples, Peter, was indignant and told Jesus he’d never allow Him to do that act. I’m referring to when Jesus washed His disciples feet during The Last Supper. You see, for the host of the meal to wash the feet of others himself was an astounding act of humility. That act of service demonstrated Jesus’ humility and servant heart.

Jesus set an example for us and wants us to do the same in our relationship. We read the account in John 13:14–17 (NKJV) as Jesus says to His disciples, “If then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.” So, we receive a blessing when we serve each other as a couple. How serious was Jesus’ example to serve? In Mark 10:43–45 (NIV) Jesus says, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. “ Now, that’s serious!

There’s a problem, though. Serving each other requires us to put away our pride and humble ourselves. Paul writes to the church in Philippi and encourages them to do just that. “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3–4 NIV). All the while doing these acts of service not out of obligation but as Paul emphasizes to the church in Galatia, we’re to “serve one another humbly in love” (Galatians 5:13b NIV).

Fortunately, as believers, God hasn’t left us to try to attempt to live this way through our own endeavors (as if that were even possible because of sin in our lives). This is truly only possible through the power and love of the Holy Spirit. So, let’s be obedient to God and live by and through the power of the Holy Spirit and choose to love the other more than ourselves. Today, pray to God and ask Him to work in your heart to choose to love others by serving them with one small, or even great, kind act of service.

Pause & Reflection:

Here are some questions to discuss with your spouse:

1. What does being servant-hearted mean? What does it look like practically?
2. What are some things I can start doing today that will better serve and support you?
3. How have my words affected you?

Pray:

Father, I ask in Jesus’ name that You’d give me the wisdom, patience, compassion, love, and joy to serve my spouse. Help me to be like Jesus, having the same mindset as Him, to put my spouse and their needs above my own. Teach me daily how to best serve them. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.