El-Roi the God Who Sees MeSýnishorn

Lost in the Wilderness

Have you ever felt abandoned by God? Can you remember when you desperately cried out to God for healing, only to receive silence? From the time I was a little girl, there was an emptiness in my heart- a feeling I struggled to understand or put into words. My childhood experiences led me to struggle with deep-seated feelings of rejection, depression, anxiety, and low self-worth.

At 17, I made my way to the front of the church every Sunday during the altar call, seeking relief. I could not stop the tears from falling. I could not contain the gut-wrenching sobs welling from deep within. With each time, I thought this would be it. This time, the minister will heal me. This time, God will show the minister why I am in so much pain. I stood there every week with open hands and a heavy heart, waiting for change. In those moments, it did not matter what people thought about me. I just wanted to be healed—free—whole.

It wasn't until much later that I finally found a name for the pain I had carried with me all those years—childhood trauma. My childhood experiences led me to struggle with deep-seated feelings of rejection, depression, anxiety, and low self-worth. During this time, I wondered how a loving God could allow me to experience so much pain.

Journal Prompt:

God is close to the brokenhearted. Write a letter of prayer to God expressing your pain, fears, and confusion. He can handle your big emotions.

Prayer:

Dear Lord, I pray You will meet your sons and daughters in this wilderness season of their lives. I thank You, Lord, for being an ever-present help in their time of trouble. The Bible reminds us that You are close to the brokenhearted. You will never leave or turn Your back on those who are hurting. In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen.