God’s Gift to Husbands and Wives: A 3-Day Marriage PlanSýnishorn

Two Sides of Passion

The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, her husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:4

There's a basic difference between women and men that marriage partners need to understand: Women tend to give sex to get intimacy, while men tend to give intimacy to get sex.

Many men, for example, can separate the act of intercourse from the relationship and feel some measure of physical satisfaction. Not so for most women. More relationally inclined, they often feel exploited when sexual relations are not accompanied by tenderness, caring, and romantic love.

Solutions? The man who wants an exciting sexual experience with his wife should focus on the other twenty-three and a half hours in the day. He should compliment her, tell her that he cares, and make her feel special in a hundred different ways. Turning the coin over, the wife must understand that her husband is more visually oriented and easily stimulated than she is. She should make herself as attractive to him as she can.

With a little unselfish forethought, each can learn to satisfy the other. In our experience, responding to these basic differences opens the door for genuine passion in marriage.

Just between us . . .

·Do you agree that men and women approach sex differently?

·Do we understand each other's feelings about sex and intimacy?

·Why do you think God created these differences in men and women?

·What can I do specifically to make sex more appealing to you?

Lord, help us to hold our differences about sexual attraction in high regard -- never hindering where we could help, never ignoring or criticizing where we could cherish and honor. Thank You that we can give ourselves to each other so completely. Amen.

Excerpted from Night Light for Couples, used with permission.

Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful! (Songs 4:1a, ESV – what a husband might say to his wife)

My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand. (Songs 5:10, ESV – what a wife might say to her husband)