When You Struggle to Feel God's LoveSýnishorn

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not?

Scripture:

“So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:16–19 (ESV)

Between every social media “expert,” every brand of Christianity, every new bestseller with the secret to “true” spirituality, and our own internal wavering, each day can feel like that flower game—picking off each petal with, “He loves me. He loves me not. . .” The apostle John didn’t want us to have to live like this. His words offer certainty of our faith and God’s love for us.

But what about all these different Jesuses I hear about? Listen to the teachers who tell the story of Jesus as the promised Messiah (Christ), the Son of God—the One who came into our world, fully God and fully man (1 John 2:22; 4:2, 15). If those teachers make it seem like they never sin (1 John 1:8–10), or if they live in sin they justify instead of repenting from (1 John 2:3–6), they don’t know Him. If they’re more marked by a need for prominence rather than sacrificial, others-focused love, they don’t know the One who gave His life for us (1 John 3:10–18).

What about if I sin again and again? God, who is light (1 John 1:5), does care about our moral integrity; but a huge part of that moral integrity is an active practice of confessing your sin to God, who is “faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9; 2:1–2).

What if, despite all this, my own heart condemns me, and I can’t shake the feeling I’m doomed? Three witnesses reassure us: belief in the apostles’ teaching; the Holy Spirit’s presence within us (1 John 4:13); and a life of increasing love for God expressed in our love for others (1 John 3:23). And “whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything” (1 John 3:20).

Our hearts can be fickle things (ask me how I know). But there is no one more committed to your sanctification—your being made to look more and more like Christ in the way you love—than God Himself.

When God looks at you, He beholds the perfection of His Beloved Son. He will stop loving you as soon as He stops loving His Son. When you fail, run back to God as your loving Father who will not deny Himself—His very Spirit in you.

May His perfect love for you continue to cast out all fear of condemnation, ’til you can confidently say, “He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.”

Call to Action:

Here’s a writing prompt for you today: What are the things that tend to make you feel uneasy or unassured about God’s love?