The Guarded Heart vs Guarding Our HeartsSýnishorn

THE BOUNDARY-LESS & BURDENED PARTS OF OUR HEARTS

Poor boundaries tend to result in carrying burdens that don't belong to us. Establishing healthy boundaries is related to knowing one's internal self-worth. In the same way that a house worth millions will have strong security and boundaries to protect its value, so it is with our self-worth.

When people struggle to see their self-worth, they find it hard to say no to others because they fear failing people and being rejected. Often, their worth and value are found in what they do for others; hence, the need to be needed feeds their value. This drives picking up burdens that don't belong to them. The danger is often what one picks up is not heavy to begin with but over time, it leads to weariness and even bitterness due to the belief that one has been taken advantage of. In the message version of 2 Thessalonians 3:8-9, there is a warning about lazy people taking advantage of generous people. Sadly, there is a fine line between good-hearted, generous people who also need to feel needed and those who take advantage of their generosity.

Over time, it generates weariness and an experience of being taken advantage of, leading to bitterness of heart, especially when one has nothing left to give. I find it liberating that Jesus never set up a healing ministry at the pool of Bethesda. We know he only did what the Father told him, not what the need demanded. Galatians 6:9 warns us not to become weary in doing good. Burdens will lead to burnout, which often leads to behaving badly. Behaving badly is a biblical description of the root meaning behind weariness.

So how does one guard their heart against boundaryless burdens that can lead to weary bitterness?

Firstly, one has to invest in the foundations of self-worth. If you find it hard to say no to others out of fear of rejection, then an insecurity root needs to be healed.

Secondly, Proverbs 16:3 instructs us to commit our plans to the Lord instead of being driven by the needs around us. If the enemy can't stop you from becoming a Christ follower, his next strategy is to make you ineffective. Burnout is the easiest way to do that.

Reflective Questions:

• What is the fear behind saying no to others? (Being rejected, being seen as inadequate, not being needed?)
• What are you carrying or doing now that does not belong to you?
• Who do you find saying no to the hardest?

Prayer:

Jesus, thank you that I can cast my burdens onto you. You said that your yoke is light. Help me walk in your way instead of my own. Help me discern the areas of my life in which I struggle to place boundaries. I pray, too, for a revelation of my value in your eyes. Amen.