Lord, How Am I Ever Going to Get Through This?Sýnishorn

As a grief coach, the following question is one I am asked more than any other: “Why did God allow this?”

Oh, what a tough question!
I remember asking God this very question as tears streamed down my face.

Did you know God welcomes our tough questions? Many times, it’s our toughest questions that will create a bridge from our heart to Father God’s heart…and this bridge has the ability to take us from horrible pain to deep purpose and joy.

To be clear, God is God, and we are not. God loves us enough to allow us to respectfully ask Him our most heartbreaking, gut-wrenching questions, though. He lovingly cares about us and welcomes us to run to His heart.

It is so important to realize God NEVER wastes our grief. He has a purpose for our pain. This isn’t the same as saying, “There’s a reason for everything,” and it doesn’t mean we won’t experience incredibly hard emotions. It also won’t make our journey easier. Our pain can actually have a purpose here on earth…but, more importantly, every heartbreaking and hard situation we go through now… has a purpose for eternity.

Sometimes, we go through heartbreaking life events due to poor decisions. Sometimes, it’s due to other people’s wrong decisions. Other times, it’s due to “life,” such as the death of a loved one. Sometimes, God allows us to go through a hard time. He doesn’t willingly bring grief to anyone, but if there’s a redemptive plan, He will allow it.

A few biblical examples:

King David – David willingly sinned with Bathsheba. As a result of that sin, David went through intense heartache and grief. Sometimes, we go through horrifically painful heartache due to our own choices (or the decisions of others).

Mary (mother of Jesus) - Mary experienced horribly painful grief. She didn’t do anything wrong, yet she experienced her son’s murder. God’s plan (at the time) probably provided very little comfort or relief…Mary wouldn’t fully understand until later.

Job - Job was a completely righteous man…yet it was God who asked Satan to consider Job. This is tough to comprehend, but we will experience tough times like Job. There are tough times when we will have no other way to refine us, prune our hearts, or see what we’re spiritually made of—what is TRULY inside us. Our character is revealed, at times, through major testing.

These are just a few examples, yet God redeemed each of these situations for King David, Mary, Jesus, and Job.

God’s plans are so much higher than our plans. We look at the “here and now”—God looks at (and plans for) eternity. Everything we go through has eternal value. It’s so incredibly important to understand this…especially while walking through pain…because souls can be at stake.

When my Dad died of cancer, I was beyond grieved, hurt, and broken. I’ll be honest—even angry. I couldn’t think of anyone more eligible for a miracle. I fully believed God would favorably answer my prayers, pleas for help, and heartbreaking cries for healing. I watched my Dad battle stage 4c cancer for 11 months. It was absolutely gut-wrenching. Three weeks after my Dad died, my Mom broke both of her ankles at the cemetery. The next month, my mom’s lifelong best friend died. A few months later, my aunt died. A month after that, my other aunt died.

I couldn’t understand why God would allow so much suffering.

Then God began showing how He was redeeming these terrible situations.

My uncle, who would die a few months later, had been to each funeral and heard the plan of salvation at each funeral. As a result, he was saved right before he died. More redemption came as our family (our entire family) drew closer together through our intense grief.

Sometimes, God will answer our question of, “Why was this allowed to happen?” and other times, we will find out in eternity.

One thing is certain: God is in control, and if we knew all the facts, we’d wholeheartedly love, trust, cooperate, and fully follow Him.

He will be making up for all we go through because His heart is for us!