Why Am I Single?Sýnishorn

The Call to Be Single

In Matthew 19:12, Jesus said there are some who have chosen singleness for the sake of advancing God’s purposes. These individuals have foregone marriage and children in order to devote more time and energy into advancing the purposes of God on earth. Some of you may hear this and ask, “Is that supposed to be me? Am I supposed to do that? How will I know?”

Throughout this reading, we’ve talked about singleness being a “season.” For many of you, in due time, this season will pass. It will tarry for a while, but you can know that the God who has given you the gift of singleness will give you the grace to endure it. When God gives you somebody to marry, you will get to live life with that person, and it will be a great gift. For others, you will live your life as an unmarried person—and I want to encourage you that you can have deep fulfillment in life and be unmarried.

Regardless of whether you are a married follower of Jesus or a single follower of Jesus, we can together link arms and make a difference for the kingdom. Whether your season of singleness is long or short, you can know that God has a purpose for your life. All that is left is for you to ponder the question: What will that look like for me?

Your time as a single person should be characterized by deep friendships that will hold you accountable and keep loneliness and isolation at bay. A foundation of close friendships will help you stand strong in the midst of the stresses and strains of life. You need people who love God, who love you, and who aren’t afraid to tell you when you’re being an idiot.

This season is also a time to invest in God’s Word and prepare your heart and mind for service. With the support of God’s Word and godly friends, you will be able to take a stand against what grieves the Lord. Keep in mind that as you do this and leverage your life for something that matters, you may face resistance. But don’t be discouraged, for this resistance may be a sign that you are on the right track! If no one ever resists you, it could be a sign that you are not serving as a positive force of change in your culture.

When you encounter such resistance, you will undoubtedly be confronted with the need to forgive and leave past wounds behind (remember this is an important part of devotion to God). Get the counseling and support you need now as a single person to work through any unresolved issues of forgiveness. Resting in the sovereign care of God will empower you to forgive your enemies and prepare you for future relationships of all kinds. Do this not just for your sake, but for the sake of those who might believe in Christ because of your example of faith and forgiveness. Leverage your circumstances for the advancement of the gospel!

At every step of your journey of singleness, rest in the confidence that you are held by the One who called you. It is his hand that cradles the seas and for whose glory you choose to live. You control so little of what happens in life, but you are known and loved by the Author of life.

Respond

Where do you need God’s grace to navigate your season of singleness? How can living a single life be fulfilling?

How can you link arms with other followers of Jesus to make a difference for the kingdom? How can godly friends help you handle loneliness?

How can others help you to stand strong in the midst of the stresses and strains of life? How is this support a picture of God’s love and care for you?