Living GenerouslySýnishorn

Generous With Attention

I find it remarkably easy to be physically present while my mind is very much elsewhere. I doubt I’m the only one. Our distractedness is affecting those we love. Has anyone ever said to you, ‘I bet you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said!’? If so, have you ever replied, ‘That’s a weird way to start a conversation.’? We’re a selfish, sidetracked society, and our attention span only seems to be shrinking. Mary’s generosity in anointing Jesus’ feet in John 12:3 is displayed through her patient, unblinking attention.

Jesus knew His life’s trajectory. He says later in the same chapter, ‘Now My soul is troubled. And what should I say – “Father, save Me from this hour”? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour.’ (John 12:27) His execution is imminent, and it’s likely Mary senses His anguish. She responds by focusing her attention on Jesus, providing comfort to a body soon to suffer unimaginably.

The perfume Mary uses – nard – is an incredibly expensive natural oil, known for its anxiety-reducing qualities. I’m not sure Mary fully understood the extent of Jesus’ distress. We not expected to perfectly understand what someone else is going through either. Still, like Mary, we can effectively, generously, set our attention on them and care for them.

In John 12:4–5, Judas focuses on the cost of the perfume instead of what it really means. Ironically, just after this encounter (during which Jesus admonishes Judas for criticizing the waste of money), Judas heads off to ask the chief priests what they’d give him for betraying Jesus. They agree to pay him thirty pieces of silver – about a quarter of the perfume’s value. Sadly, Judas pays attention to the wrong things. It’s worth thinking about what your Instagram feed encourages you to give attention to, and what your spouse, kids, or friends hope you’ll pay more (or less) attention to.

Nard wasn’t only used to reduce anxiety, but also as a burial oil, so there’s a sense of cosmic foreshadowing in Mary’s anointing of Jesus. Her generosity of attention is also shown through her careful wiping of Jesus’ feet. There’s nothing half-hearted about her actions. She’s very much physically and mentally present – a generous present in itself. It’s vital that we give people the gift of really seeing them and taking them seriously, so we can respond by meeting their needs. Let’s be known as people who ask about others, more than we talk about ourselves.

The psalmist says, ‘O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from far away. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.’ (Psalm 139:1-3) The attention we lavish on others mirrors the attention God lavishes on us. May you know that giving someone your full and patient attention is a most powerful way of loving them well and living generously.