Taboo: Topics Christians Should Be Talking About but Don’tSýnishorn

The Greatest Husbands Act Without Being Asked

I recently typed “husbands” into a Bible search engine, and what I discovered was golden. In the resulting passages, I found what I call the “Seven Commandments for Husbands.”

• Be considerate.
• Don’t be harsh.
• Treat with respect.
• Love.
• Love.
• Love.
• Love. (Dudes must depend on repetition!)

That’s the holy work that will help create a happy home.

Here’s the most famous example: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). Just like Jesus, love will cost you. If she’s wired differently than you, your love will have to be intentional, and if she wants it differently than you, your love will likely be inconvenient. But this is how you can please your wife—love, love, love, love her.

I am aware a man should never claim to know what a woman wants, but I recently took a chance and posted what I knew was a stereotype but true to my own experience. The sentence that follows is the first piece of viral content I have ever produced. It was viewed more than 1,000,000 times in less than three weeks on Instagram alone and shared tens of thousands of times. Apparently, couples found this advice to be true and essential to marital happiness. Ready for it?

The best husbands act without being asked.

Most modern women do so much and carry more stress than we realize. They go to work and then come home to work—the cooking, cleaning, emails, and scheduling. (If you have kids, multiply the weight of that last sentence by 17!) Thus, few things mean more than when a husband who loves his wife sees her stress and tries to solve it without being asked. If she asks for help and you give it, you are a good husband. If she doesn’t even have to ask and it gets done, you are a great one.

Guys, God has called us to be the head of our households, to be the first to love like Jesus, so act without being asked. In his grace, Jesus’ cross will always be there to forgive us when we fail. And that same grace will compel us to love our bride the way that Jesus loves his.

By his strength and with his help, act without being asked. That’s what leads to a happy, holy home.