After You Fail: A Leader's 5 Step Plan to Fail Forward Sýnishorn

Reflect But Don’t Relive

Have you ever hired the wrong person for the right reasons?

A friend who runs her own business shared his story of failure with me. His company was booming, and he needed an assistant. While working on a community project, my friend met Miranda, a fellow volunteer who needed a job. Through time spent on the project, he knew their personalities and work styles were likely not compatible, but he wanted to help her situation, so he hired her. He thought, “How bad can it be?”

Miranda was articulate, energetic, and had lots of great ideas, but her enthusiasm felt overwhelming. She and my friend shared an office space, and her communication style and approach to work exhausted him. He felt responsible for hiring her, but instead of problem solving with her, he tried to ignore their differences. He didn’t talk to her about their incompatibilities, so his frustration came out in other ways. The work environment became uncomfortable for both of them until she finally quit.

He felt relieved but guilty about how poorly he’d handled the situation. Over and over, he replayed what had happened and what he should have done. When we talked, I gently reminded him that reliving a mistake is not the same as learning from it.

Reflection happens when we look back a few times, learn, and move forward. Obsession happens when we look back too many times and paralyze ourselves. Through reflection, my friend realized he hadn’t prayed about his hiring decision, and he had doubted his leadership instincts and experience.

In our focus verse, we’re reminded of Peter and how his doubts resurfaced again and again. Every time Peter failed, Jesus was there to help him take the next step toward maturing in his faith. Jesus didn’t rehash Peter’s failings but loved him and continued using him for God’s kingdom. If Jesus doesn’t keep replaying our mistakes, why should we?

Peter grew from a rash skeptic into the leader of the apostles, someone whose faith empowered him to spread the gospel despite imprisonment, heavy persecution, and ultimately, death. Think of how different his story would have been if he’d stayed stuck instead of thinking about what Jesus was teaching him and using what he learned to keep going.

When we reflect, we think about what went wrong, what we learned, and what we’ll do differently as we push ahead. Reflection propels us forward.