Healing From Grief With the PsalmsSýnishorn

Have you ever seen an Emotion Wheel? (If not, do a Google search when you finish this devotional) An Emotion Wheel is an incredible tool my therapist used as I worked on befriending my emotions. I had no idea there were so many emotions I could feel!

As I’ve gotten to know my emotions better, I now notice emotions more easily in others, especially as I read sections of the Bible like the Psalms.

When we read Psalm 22, we get a sense of the wide range of David’s emotions. He begins the chapter by exploring his anguish and feeling like God is distant. In the very next verse, though, he pivots to describing the glory and faithfulness of God. Then, he immediately turns back to his intense feelings, calling himself a “worm” and recounting how people mocked him. Once again, he returns to recounting God’s work in his past and his trust in God’s character.

Reading Psalm 22 can feel like emotional whiplash as David goes back and forth between positive and negative emotions, trust and doubt, and discouragement and hope. If it feels like David is all over the place, that’s because he is! And when you and I are grieving, we are all over the place!

Grief can twist our sense of self. We don’t see or perceive accurately when we’re grieving. When we are exhausted, we may be observant of events, but we are untrustworthy interpreters of those events.

Several years ago, I got some news that frustrated me. I didn’t respond well. Luckily, a co-worker in the next office over had her door open. As I sat down, she asked me if I needed to talk. I proceeded to vent my intense emotions, along with a recap of events.

When I finished my rant, my friend didn’t respond as expected. She didn’t take my side or join me in my frustration. Instead, she asked how I had been sleeping lately, how much caffeine I’d been drinking, and when the last time was that I had some time off. I answered her questions while wondering about the relevance of what she was asking. She pointed out that over the years, she’d noticed my perception to be less accurate when I was emotionally compromised and physically tired.

Her comments showed me the link between my energy level and my ability to perceive an intense situation. That day, I walked back to my desk, chewing on her words and thanking God for her discernment.

I encourage you to be careful about making decisions and permanent assessments when you’re grieving. Be skeptical of judgment and the narratives you create as your emotions are overwhelming or intense. Remember what we explored on day one. Your grief isn’t bad and your emotions are a place where you can encounter God’s presence.

Perhaps what you need isn’t a bunch of answers. Perhaps what you need is a good night’s sleep. What if you went for a long walk or hike outside without listening to music or a podcast? What if you went and sat near a lake, river, or ocean for a while?

Grief can make it hard to see clearly. So, while you continue to grieve, it might be time to do what you can to restore your vision and invite others with more objectivity to help you make sense of what you’re feeling or seeing.

Jesus invited His three closest friends to the garden as He prayed and grieved over the weight of surrendering to go to the cross. If the only one to ever live a sinless life chose that, then we’re probably going to need some people to support and encourage us as we grieve, too.

Tomorrow, we’re going to explore our grief, specifically in a place where it often remains hidden.