Struggle & Triumph: Taming the TongueSýnishorn

Not Conforming

As a basketball coach, the more Coach Barnes conformed to the sports world by cursing, the better his team seemed at following his instructions. Profanity was a powerful tool, and he felt powerful using it.

“I was spitting out profanity like I’d been doing it all my life. I became an expert at making my team shape up, and the improvement was obvious as we became one of the best teams in the country.”

But something else was happening under the surface—something sinister. The power Coach Barnes was experiencing was actually making him weak as a leader according to James 1:26. He discovered this one day when talking to Damien James, one of his players.

“Damien, I’m really disappointed. What’s up? What can I do to help you play better?”

“Coach, I’m sorry you’re not happy with me. But I need you to stop cussing at me.”

“What?”

“I’ve never had a guy talk to me like that and honestly, you scare me. I can’t function like I need to during practice or a game because of you.”

Coach Barnes was shocked, but it was a turning point for him. Then and there, he promised Damien he would never curse at him again.

Rick says, “I realized I was a phony—pretending to be a tough guy when inside there was a kinder, more godly man who desired to be a better influence to those God had placed in my care. But I had stifled that man all in the name of fitting in.”

Romans 12:2 tells us to renew our minds in order to be transformed. But by embracing the world’s advice, Coach had conformed to what others thought he should be to succeed as a leader.

In his letter to the believers of Ephesus, Paul the Apostle warned against speaking words that do not reflect God’s love and the damage this does (Ephesians 4:29). Rather than building up others and encouraging them, we can end up bullying them with our mouths. Coach Barnes’ unwholesome yelling seemed to be doing good, but it was destroying him and his players.

Convicted and slapped in the face with the reality of what he was doing, Barnes repented and committed to start listening again to the voice of God, so he could become the man God meant him to be.

How about you? How might your words or actions have worked against what God desired to do through you? What are some ways you can model Christ’s love today by speaking life-giving words to someone?