Overcoming Lies About SexSýnishorn

Sex Is Not Ultimate

There are certain male bees whose main function in life is to mate. They are literally designed to do it, and after they perform their mating duties, they die. That’s it. Their whole life is tied up in the procreative sex act. Humans differ wildly from bees in many ways, but especially in this. None of us were made for sex. Sex is a good and beautiful gift from God, but it is not an ultimate thing. It’s not even a necessary thing. The actual necessities for survival of any specific human individual are food, water, sleep, and shelter—not sex. Understanding this matters, especially when we think about marriage and singleness.

When we treat sex as the ultimate experience, sex and marriage can become conflated into one grand achievement. This, intentionally or not, tends to prop married people up, and leave single people feeling cast down. When marriage becomes the end-all-be-all of human fulfillment, single Christians can feel that their worth is somehow diminished. But the Bible describes both marriage and singleness as equal ways of honoring God. One is not better than the other.

Some of us find it hard to recognize the value of singleness. For the reasons described above, and more, singleness can get a bad rap, but it’s important that we remember a few things. First, every person experiences singleness at some point in life. Some may be single their whole lives. Everyone experiences singleness prior to marriage, and some experience singleness after a spouse dies. Singleness is a common experience, and we should not feel ashamed, or make anyone else feel ashamed for being single. Secondly, many figures in the Bible were single. Jesus was single. Lazarus, Mary, and Martha were single. Paul was single.

Paul makes it clear in 1 Corinthians 7 that both marriage and singleness are gifts from God. You are not less spiritual if you are single, and you are not more spiritual or obedient to Christ if you are married. Your primary purpose in life, whether single or married, is to love God and love others. Whatever season you’re in, know that God is using your circumstances to draw you to Him and make you more like His Son.

Thought of the Day: I will thank God for the season of life I am in. I will also seek to love God and others through the blessings and limitations of my life, whether I am single, married, divorced, or widowed.

For more help and resources on overcoming emotional and mental health struggles, check out resolutionmovement.org.