When Your Marriage Isn't What You Thought It Would BeSýnishorn

Day 2: A Moment of Relief

After the first week of struggling with a rough patch in my marriage, a wave of worry hit me. Doubts crept in, fueled by the echoes of a previous marriage that ended with its own set of anxieties. In the midst of this emotional whirlwind, I found myself on the verge of a breakdown. It's a familiar story—when life throws challenges at us, it's easy to hyper-focus on the present turmoil, feeling as if the future holds no promise. In those moments, decisions are often made impulsively, assumptions cloud our judgment, and the temptation to escape becomes overwhelming. I've been down that road before, mistakenly thinking that immediate action would resolve everything, only to realize later that it was just a prolonged detour from true healing.

Over the years, I've come to understand the value of taking a break, not from the marriage itself, but from the emotional, mental, and spiritual weight that builds up. What does that entail? When the intensity of the situation became too much, I allowed myself moments of solitude—a day alone, a stay with a relative (with a tactful sharing of information), or a brief vacation. These breaks offered a chance to catch my breath, find moments of peace, and engage in introspective conversations with myself and with God. They became crucial intervals that fortified me to face the challenges of another day, week, and beyond.

Reflecting on the idea of taking breaks, I'm reminded of moments when even God retreated for solitude. This happened after prolonged periods of divine work, providing Him the opportunity to distance Himself from distractions and frustrations and reconnect with a sense of peace and purpose. If even Jesus took breaks to rejuvenate, why wouldn't we?

Mark 1:35: "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed."

Reflection:

We all crave those moments of rejuvenation, whether it's gearing up for the day ahead or navigating through challenging times. Even in the low points, there's a need to hit pause, recalibrate, take a seat, and then rise to push forward.

When it comes to finding rest from the strains of marriage, consider taking intentional steps.

1. Identify what triggers your emotional turmoil. Once you're aware, craft a plan to regain your calm and find inner peace.

2. Allocate dedicated time to release pent-up emotions. Pour your thoughts onto paper in a letter to God, or let your feelings flow through the melody of a song. Perhaps, immerse yourself in music that resonates with your soul.

Whatever it is that sparks a glimmer of hope and helps you face another day in faith that your marriage holds the promise of improvement—make it a priority.