The Battles Women FaceSýnishorn

The Battles Women Face: Boundaries*

A year ago I learned something shocking about myself: I was a boundaryless person. I found myself focused so much on being loving and unselfish, that I forget my own limits and limitations. I was exhausted from never saying no out of fear. I felt I did not have the freedom to express my own thoughts and opinions. I was unable to manage my own feelings and detach from the manipulative emotions of others. Sadly, I had not taken ownership of my life.

Thankfully, God’s Word showed me it was time to use biblical boundaries appropriately to achieve the relationships and purposes that God intends for me as His child. I wanted to live a life of love, freedom, responsibility, and service.

The ability to set clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. In relationships, boundaries define who we are and who we are not, which impacts every part of our lives.

Fences are physical boundaries with the message: this is where my property begins. Boundaries define what is me and what is not me. They show me where I end and someone else begins. This leads to a sense of ownership, which gives us freedom. Boundaries indicate what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for.

Boundaries help us:

• distinguish our property so that we can take care of it;
• to “guard our heart with all diligence”;
• keep the good in (what will nurture us) and the bad out (what will harm us);
• guard our treasures.

Whether it is a dysfunctional family, the world, your own religious self-righteousness, or the brokenness of being lost, God can help you go from being an unhealthy person without boundaries to a healthy person with boundaries.

Remember David’s prayer. God’s desire is for you to know where your weaknesses are. Ask Him to shed light on the significant relationships and forces that have contributed to your own boundary struggles. Seek God’s help to protect your heart and to guide you with wisdom. Find that you too can have the ability to say no when it is beyond my limit.

*Concept from the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend