Good To Know: Good Advice For A Better LifeSýnishorn

This week we buried my wife’s grandfather. After hearing of his passing, we made the trip out of state to be with family and remember “Big Papa.” I hoped to offer words of encouragement to my family and help ease the sting of loss, but in reality, I didn’t know what to say.

In these moments, I wish I knew how to make things better. The thing is, I’ve studied the Bible diligently, so technically, I do have a lot of answers for the questions that arise in sorrow. I know plenty of verses on grieving and comfort in painful moments. But those answers and verses often fall short in times of need. In fact, sometimes they do more harm than good.

What was helpful was our presence. Our nearness brought comfort, not our words— however true they may have been. Sometimes being sad with someone is more helpful than trying to cheer them up. My family was comforted when my wife and I sat with them, even in their sorrow. Our role wasn’t to make them happy or to take away their pain. Our role was to be present and walk with them in the midst of their pain.

This is the example our heavenly Father sets for us.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted.” It doesn’t say he “cheers up” the brokenhearted, or tries his best to speak a monumental truth. God is our counselor and healer; he is close to the brokenhearted. In the middle of our pain, when the answers we have aren’t enough, our Father is near to us. In our pain, it is his presence that brings us comfort and healing.

Jeff Jackson

Questions for Reflection:

• Are there people around you in a painful circumstance that would appreciate someone being present with them? What is keeping you from being there with them?

• Has there been a time in your life where you felt the closeness of God? How did that bring comfort or healing to your life?