Freedom From Sexual Bondage Part 1

BREAKING THE GRIP OF LUST—THERE IS ONE WAY OUT!

For 20 years, sex controlled a man named Joel. Lustful thoughts constantly filled his mind, and pornography and masturbation was no stranger to him. This secret sin remained even after Joel accepted the Lord into his heart. Joel needed help but was too ashamed and proud to admit it. He finally let go, and God broke the grip of sexual bondage. His marriage today is healthy, and his relationship with Jesus is real and fulfilling.

Men everywhere are asking for a proven path to overcoming habits of sexual immorality. Some are perplexed because they have beautiful, loving wives and cannot understand the allure of pornography. Others try justifying urges because their wives withhold sex or intimacy. In each situation, they share in a search for freedom from sexual bondage.

There are no magical formulas or quick fixes to tackling the problem of lust. However, there is a way out. The only road to freedom from sexual obsession is an intimate and daily relationship with Jesus Christ. Without that relationship, some form of sin will always tear you down. The good news is that Jesus loves you and wants to stand alongside and free you. He wants to be an active part of your life. He made you in such a way that you would share your life with Him daily. We will explain the path to overcoming habits of sexual sins while striving toward a growing personal relationship with Christ.

SEXUAL IMMORALITY HINDERS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

God does not sit in heaven making up rules and waiting to punish you for breaking them. Instead, He purposefully created you in His image (Genesis 1:27) with the intention that you would not only love and worship Him (Matthew 4:10) but also be His child (John 1:12; 1 John 3:1) and His friend (James 2:23). The Lord is a personal God and is interested in a close and meaningful relationship with you.

Consider this: What if you had an adult son who you loved deeply? What if he was working on an important project and might be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize but never visits, calls, or writes to you? Instead, you learned of his accomplishments by reading the newspaper. While I am sure you would be proud of his good works, would you not rather have a hug, talk to him, and hear him say, “I love you"? This is how you treat Jesus each day when you try to lead a good life but do not talk to Him or tell Him, “I love You.” God wants far more from you than your good deeds. He wants your friendship. He desires a daily, intimate relationship with you.

The commandments of God are not designed to be a burden but to foster your relationship with Him so you may prosper. Jesus tells you not to commit adultery in your heart (Matthew 5:27–28) or engage in lust, pornography, or masturbation. These actions damage your relationship with Him and others. He knows in the end, these things lead you down the wrong path and produce shame, guilt, bitterness, hurtful feelings, emptiness, and loneliness. God wants you to avoid this pain. He calls you to purity and holiness because He is pure and holy (1 Peter 1:16). Best friends share things in common, and Jesus wants you to be like Him.

When your thoughts or actions become self-centered, you move further from your loving God. Sexual sins magnify this effect. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives inside you if you trust in Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Therefore, sexual sin is against your body, the temple of God (1 Corinthians 6:18–20).

Listen carefully to what God is telling you: “In view of God’s mercy... offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship” (Romans 12:1). When you selfishly give yourself over to sexual desires, sex becomes your master—the focal point of your life. Jesus wants to be the center of your life, thinking, and actions. He wants to meet your needs. Each time you lust, masturbate, or look at pornography, you place God on a shelf and forget about the One who loves you and gave Himself for you. You turn away from Jesus and disregard the good things He alone can provide.

THE ROOT PROBLEM

Before bondage to sexual immorality will end, you need to realize that there are deeper problems in your life you must first address. Masturbation, pornography, and lust aren't the sole sources of the problems in your life. They are symptoms fed by something else. Roots are feeding sexual immorality and keeping it alive. These roots are present in all who face sexual struggles. The root cause is selfishness and the pride that accompanies it. Selfishness is being overly concerned with your welfare or interest, and pride is the attitude and behavior resulting from an exaggerated self-worth or an entitlement attitude. Together, these lead you to think that you deserve to be served and to have every desire fulfilled. Until you come to grips with the seriousness of selfishness and pride in your life and battle these root sins, you never truly have lasting freedom from bondage to sexual immorality.

The best way to explain this is to picture your hand. Look at your palm right now. In the center of your palm are selfishness and pride. Each of your fingers, stemming from your palm, represents a sin, such as masturbation, lust, greed, envy, and jealousy, flowing from selfishness and pride.

It may be possible out of sheer determination to bend a finger and stop masturbating for months or years. Maybe you can even bend down a few fingers at the same time. However, if you allow selfishness and pride to remain in your life, you still have barriers that block an intimate relationship with God, and the roots of sexual sin will still be present. Also, another selfish action, such as anger, will take its place.

If you are making your goal to overcome a specific sexual sin, such as masturbation, you set your sights too low and aim at the wrong target. Failure is assured. Finding freedom from sexual bondage requires you to address selfishness and pride.

How do you stop being selfish and prideful? By yourself, you cannot. This is why you must trust Jesus and turn over complete control of your entire life to Him. This is not merely a slogan or something for your ears to hear, and this is not about being more “religious." This is about becoming a new person in Christ. The more you draw near to Jesus Christ and take on His character as your own, the less consumed you are with self-interests. When you live by following the Spirit of God, you deny the desires of the sinful nature because the sinful nature is contrary to the character of God (Galatians 5:16). It goes like this: The more you seek to love and follow Jesus, the less selfish and prideful you become, but the more you withdraw from Jesus, the more self-centered you become—which leads to pursuing selfish pleasures such as lust. This is why there is no freedom from sexual immorality apart from having a real, personal, daily relationship with Jesus Christ. A relationship in which you seek Him with all of your heart.

When you sin, such as masturbation, it leads to feelings of guilt or shame, which causes you to hide areas of your life. You walk away from God. Once separated, you continue to sin, heaping on more guilt and shame, leading to more hiding. You get caught in a spiral leading ever further downward. The only road that leads to a restored relationship with God and freedom from the downward slope of sexual bondage is to walk the path that leads to experiencing Jesus Christ on a personal level and becoming dependent upon Him every day.

GOD HEALS SLOWLY FOR A PURPOSE

An everlasting commitment to walking with and yielding to the Lord marks the beginning of a new and Proven life. Do not expect to be freed instantly from all aspects of sexual sin. God often heals slowly for a good reason. Because you may have spent years developing ungodly practices, working them out of your life will take time. Another thing to remember is that were you instantly freed of bondage, you likely would boast, “I overcame,” but you still go on living a selfish or prideful life.

Because Jesus desires a personal and intimate daily walk with you, He wants you to develop a practice of meeting with Him every day. When taking the steps necessary to overcome sexual sins, you will build a relationship with Jesus. Do you get it? Jesus wants more for you than simply leading a good life free from sexual impurity. He wants to be involved in your life and be close to you. By requiring the healing process to be one in which you must rely upon Him over an extended period, you talk to and share with Jesus daily and even moment by moment. In the end, you not only become free from sexual bondage but also develop a strong, fulfilling, and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. In essence, you become stamped Proven. It makes perfect sense.

Heartwork

What are the twin root issues that keep sexual sins alive?

Take a minute to answer the question above.

List ways in which you have been self-consumed, selfish, or proud.

Take a minute to list the ways.

How do selfishness and pride hinder your relationship with God, and why is that important to know?

Take a minute to answer the question above.

MAKE A COMMITMENT NOW

God is calling you right now to put aside selfishness and pride and to follow Jesus Christ. If you’ve been sexually impure, go to Jesus right now. No matter your sexual sin, He is faithful and willing to forgive and purify you (1 John 1:9). God wants to forgive you, but you must ask for forgiveness and fully trust in Jesus Christ for healing. Forgiveness happens when you (1) acknowledge and confess that your selfishness and pride are sins against God and (2) give total control of all areas of your life to Jesus. True repentance must occur before God changes you. Right now, close your eyes and admit that you have made satisfying your desires the focus of your life, and acknowledge how your pride has been blinding you of God’s truth. Confess your sins and ask Jesus to take total, permanent control of all areas of your life.

Prayer

Set a timer if you must, but pray for five minutes.

• Pray for the gift of repentance. Keep asking as if your life depends on it.
• Ask God to open your eyes to the sin of separation from Him. Spend time talking to God about the direction of your life and how you are now choosing Him over the world.
• Ask the Lord to strengthen your family and other Proven Men. (List them as you pray.)
• Openly discuss with God anything else He presses upon your heart. Keep talking to, listening for, and sharing with God.