One: A Marriage Devotional by Jimmy EvansSýnishorn

Keeping Out Intrusions

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7)

I was at a hotel recently, and while I was checking in at the reception desk, the young lady who was helping me regularly answered the telephone and broke away from helping me to solve someone else’s problems. I have to admit, that is one of my pet peeves.

My belief is that the person who is standing before you in the flesh should take priority over someone who is calling on the phone. But in most cases—in hotels and other businesses—it is the opposite.

Likewise, I know of many people who are completely frustrated by the constant intrusion of other people into their spouse’s lives through technology. It has become a major
issue in our world today. Whether it is a cell phone call, text message, email, Facebook friends, Twitter or something else, we are being bombarded by outsiders trying to get into our lives. Just like my experience in the hotel, in many cases, the one we are with is put on hold for the one calling in.

The result in many marriages is frustration and feelings of rejection. Many spouses feel as if there is virtually no time, no place, and no person that is protected from these intrusions.

To address this growing problem, we need to first of all go back to the issue of good manners. It is simply bad manners to allow someone to intrude upon our conversations and important time together.

Make technology your servant and not your master. You need to remind yourself that you can survive without being constantly connected to everyone else at all times. In fact, you must have times when you disconnect and keep others away. Call it a “technology time out” or “electronic Sabbath.” Just do it.

I am very connected electronically and use a cell phone and email regularly throughout the day, but not at night and not when I’m spending important time with Karen. When we are together, we will many times not answer phone calls out of respect for each other. We realize the fact that we must manage the blessing of technology or it can become a curse.

Talk It Out | Does your spouse know that he or she is a priority and won’t be at the mercy of the next phone call, text message, or email? Talk about ways to prioritize and show honor to each other, and about how to keep electronic intrusions from damaging your relationship.

Walk It Out | Spend time together in the evenings without any intrusions or distractions—no TV, cell phones, computer, etc. Use this time for uninterrupted conversation, or just snuggle on the couch and enjoy each other’s company.