Real Hope: Learning From the Book of JobSýnishorn

Compassion Doesn’t Need Words

I have discovered that one of the kindest gifts you can give a friend who is grieving is to be quietly present with them. Instead of giving advice, friends can choose to be present in the pain.

I recall a time when a fellow midwife quietly bore witness to my grief. I was to be the first to hold a friend’s stillborn baby. My colleague came quietly into the room and without a word, she stayed with me as I lifted that precious boy into my arms. The silence was filled with silent compassion in the wrestle of grief. I remember that silent gift as one of the most precious I have known in my life.

Job’s friends started well. They traveled to be with him and obviously cared deeply for Job. They stayed quietly with their friend for the first seven days and nights. However, once Job started finding words to put to his grief, his friends started trying to find an explanation for the horrible things that had happened instead of continuing to wait with their friend. Job makes it clear in his response that none of their verbal offerings were helpful or comforting.

If you are a friend to the grieving, let me encourage you with the simple truth that compassion doesn’t need words.

Written by KATH HENRY